walk by faith

Let's Be Rich Toward God

2012-02-02T10:55:00.001-06:00

6 month update

2012-02-02T10:07:00.007-06:00

Our social worker came last week to do our 6 month Post-Adoption Report! Granted it's a few weeks away but hard to believe we're approaching the 6 month mark! Three kiddos are still SO much more work than one child, however we are in such a better place than we were 3-6 months ago!! The first 3-4 months home seem like such a blur.

We do feel that all our efforts to hibernate and protect the children are paying off. {Don't be fooled- obviously the Lord is working, it's not just our meager efforts that can take credit for our transition going "so well"}.

We are finally starting to be social... a little. But we still feel confident in keeping our social calendar guarded. This is partially for attachment/bonding sake and partially because it's SOOO refreshing to not be over-scheduled! Raising our children is our top priority now and long term, especially as we transition into homeschooling very soon. For us to do this effectively we have to feel confident saying no. We cannot attend every social engagement we're invited to. So please invite us, but know we might have to pass this time. And hosting still seems easier than going, but getting out of the house once in a while is nice too.

The kids seem happier and I am more sane when we're all at home doing our routine. We are probably on the extreme side but we have learned much from those who have gone before us and feel like we're doing the right thing for our family.

***So to clarify, for any adoptive family (who's gone before us or still in process and wants to know what other families are doing) who still reads this blog and wants to know what we've been doing....we still have not let Grandparents hold or hug Spencer or Violet. We still have not left Spencer or Violet in anyone else care unless they're sleeping. We have not slept over-night any where with them. They even sit for 60-90 minutes in church with us each week! We still lay with them till they fall asleep for nap and night time. They still fall asleep in our bed but we transfer them when Clint and I are ready for bed, to their own beds which are still in our room. We still encourage adults to basically ignore them the best they can when we are at a social event or hosting some one. Obviously acknowledging them is totally acceptable but touching, playing, holding, hugging and long conversations is still avoided. Yes, we need a break from our kids but we know this is just a season and we don't regret how we're doing it- however, no shame to those who have done it differently- we realize there is a myriad of opinions on the topic of attachment/bonding in adoption and each family has to do what is best for them.

clarification

2012-02-02T09:57:00.004-06:00

Just in case some one thought I think what Driscoll says on marriage is GOLD- it's not the case. He IS NOT the Bible, NOT my conscience and NOT my deciding factor of what is permissible or beneficial for my life or marriage.

Though, I am glad we're listening in on his sermon series and I think others could benefit as well, take it with a grain of salt, as with all things. Here is a three part article that lays out some great points to consider as you read Driscoll's book or listen to the series (thanks to Kara for passing this my way). Part Three is particularly interesting and can be applied to many "freedoms" we have, not just sexual.

Part One- http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/the-driscolls-and-real-marriage

Part Two- http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/real-marriage-can-we

Part Three- http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/can-we-the-1-corinthians-612-grid

4am

2012-01-30T22:43:00.004-06:00

This morning I was wide awake at 4am. I could not fall back to sleep for over an hour. I thought about a few things and prayed. Then put some ear plugs in and fell back to sleep... eventually. It wasn't till after I got up for the day that I remembered what day it was.

4 years ago today-4am- at a hospital just blocks from where I now live- I delivered our life-less son in the ER. It was the most traumatic situation I've ever been in. It was a whirlwind. That night will never be erased from our memories no matter how hard we try to forget. It felt like a horror movie but it was actually my life playing out before me. So surreal even in the moment. Afterward you get sent home as if nothing ever happened. It's the strangest thing.

Today we remembered James Piper, our first son.

When I actually let my heart think about what has happened to us...twice... it's just crushing really. That's why I rarely go there. I do feel much peace over the whole thing really but I'm still sad at times; often times I cannot predict. But as Addie did say today "well...it's good he is with Jesus now". I think she was surprised when I started to tear up after her comment.

Oh, if we only knew the ways of the Lord. But that is faith...trust...hope, right?

marriage series

2012-01-26T07:09:00.000-06:00

Per Marty and Jessica's suggestion (Clint's brother and sister-in-law who live in Seattle and attend Mars Hill Church) Clint and I decided to listen-in each week to Pastor Mark Driscoll's marriage sermon series! It's based from his recently released marriage book called Real Marriage. We listened to the first week already and it was SOO good! If you're not familiar with Mark, he is very honest and frank. He is fun yet very serious about the Gospel. Clint and I are actually in a very awesome season in our marriage but we know that there is always room to learn and become better equipped to encourage those around us who are in a season of struggle in their marriages. It's been so evident that staying HAPPILY married till death do us part will be the hardest thing we ever do in our lives & likely most rewarding if we pursue it! A good marriage takes lots of time and effort from both sides! We must become servant-hearted and vulnerable with our spouses. It's tough but the pay-off to our efforts is often amazing!

It's 11 weeks long, so you're not too far behind. Please consider joining us! It's only a "one hour commitment" per week to keep up. It's like a marriage conference in your living room for free!

(overview) http://marshill.com/real-marriage

(good article) http://marshill.com/2012/01/22/are-you-and-your-spouse-roommates-or-soulmates

(week one) http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage/new-marriage-same-spouse

(week two) http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage/friend-with-benefits

purge : declutter: organize : clean

2012-01-25T09:48:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the lack of posting! After recovering from a busy Christmas holiday I dived into purging, decluttering, organizing and cleaning our house top to bottom! I have been feeling really over-crowded in our home- perhaps because we have 5 people living in 1400 square feet. However small that may seem, many large families were raised in these small, old homes and I am determined to make every nook and cranny useful and work for us. I have already purged at least two times in the past year but this is a deeper purge. If it is not useful or I'm not 'IN LOVE' with it, it's gone because it's not necessary! Having too many things are more of a burden than a blessing. And us Americans are so good at collecting junk (often disguised as nice things or good deals) that we simply don't need! I went through the kids' clothes and realized, it is unnecessary to have have 20 long sleeve t-shirts of one size and one gender! I do laundry often enough that my kiddos are wearing the same 5 outfits regularly anyways. Even if all 20 of those shirts were hand-me-downs for free, are in nice shape and name-brand or I bought for 50 cents at a garage sale doesn't mean I should stock pile them. I am sick of looking at my own paper messes or crap that sits on my dining table we rarely use. I am sick of only having a picked up house when company comes! I am sick of storing Lincoln Logs that my kids simply don't play with. Or holding on to stinky lotions (probably Christmas gifts from 5 years ago) and face washes I don't intend to use but take up residency under my bathroom sink. So, this is what I've been working on the past two weeks. I feel like I am regaining some of my sanity as I go. It's cheap therapy!

father/daughter bonding

2012-01-25T09:41:00.002-06:00

good-bye my friend

2012-01-16T21:40:00.003-06:00

This morning I woke the kids early to trek to the airport to say good-bye to our good friend Annie. She basically is another family member around here; Auntie Annie, is what we call her. The kids call our spare bed "Annie's bed". She is our prime babysitter (while the kids are sleeping mostly). She stayed at our house with Addie while we were in Ethiopia (our second trip). She often ate supper with us and sat by our family at church each week.

Annie has left to follow a call to missions in Peru. She will be a tent-maker so to speak- a self-supporting missionary. She has a job teaching English down there and will be leading a youth ministry with a local church.

There are so many qualities of Annie that I admire and have been blessed by such as her generosity, her compassion, her humility, her servant attitude. She is always looking to the best of others. She is a great listener and loves children. I am so humbled to see how she is obeying the Lord in this crazy adventure, leaving the comforts of USA life, familiarity, family and friends to do what is eternal. She hasn't aloud fear and complacency to dictate her life. She is sold out for the Lord and it's such a blessing to see the Lord working in her!

Annie, I've been praying for you all day! I miss you already! Thank goodness for email and skype, eh? ; )

Check out Annie's journey on her blog- here.

outrageous: 50 degrees in January in Minnesota

2012-01-10T21:27:00.004-06:00

We had a blast spending the afternoon outside today! We went for a walk and then played in the back yard without our winter coats, hats, mittens or boots! It's just crazy the weather we're experiencing! So thankful that at least 2 months of our dreaded Minnesota winter has literally been skipped over! However, reality will hit soon enough because I'm pretty sure the high for 3 of the next 10 days is 18 degrees! Spencer and Violet have had a pretty easy transition to cold weather!

ginger bread houses

2012-01-08T13:14:00.003-06:00

Addie probably enjoyed decorating her house the most!

The kids ate more of the candy than they used to decorate!

Violet thought it was pretty funny when her house collapsed-oops!

Well, we were a little late on our Christmas craft! But I figured better now then never. The kids thought it was fun. The houses in the kit I got were a bit too small, next year we'll have to do a big one again. Spencer and Vi both cried when it was time to clean-up and eat lunch. Ginger-bread houses are one of those projects where the parents do 99% of the work, but it seemed like they enjoyed it despite that- good family time.

We're really lacking motivation/desire to pack up our Christmas decor. Our tree is still up, our outside lights are still on at night and the stockings still hung. I feel like once upon a time in our marriage we had our tree up past January 15th- that must have been our personal record. It's a shame Christmas decorations can only be up for such a short period of time. However, some of my mantle decorations are more "wintery" than "Christmasy", so I'll probably leave some of them. However, I do actually have some Valentine decor to get up! Thankfully I can keep those red throw pillows out since red works for Valentine's too.

Usually January is the sluggish, mid-winter month that every Minnesotan dreads but this year it feels so odd. With little snow on the ground and temperatures often in the 30s and 40s it feels like Spring. But sadly, it's not spring yet, winter has hardly begun and we still have a few more months left. Either way Clint and I have appreciated the warmer winter and hope it remains like this till April, but I doubt that will happen. The kids have seriously only played in the snow once this season!

We only have a few days left of our cleanse. We have done pretty well, with very little cheating. We keep discovering more things we CAN have which is helpful. There is even one particular kind of gluten-free crackers that we can eat with hummus- which is awesome! Clint and I have both been at gatherings where we couldn't eat anything there- so tough, yet we resisted! This cleanse has reminded us how good it feels to eat right and that when you do indulged in sweets it often isn't as good tasting as it looks. However, I'm still looking forward to making some cookies on Wednesday night to celebrate our first day off!

Clint and I are still drumming up ideas for personal and family goals {notice not resolutions} for the year and we're working towards living on some form of a "cash-system" budget finally too. I guess one goal I have is to get to bed earlier! Clint and I often stay up till midnight and then we're "dogging" it all day because we never catch up or recover. Staying up late is great for our marriage but not so good for our energy levels for the week!

We've been pretty busy with family things this January and I have rarely been online or blogging- sorry. The funny part about this is, I thought maybe the internet was eating away my days, but even after I stayed away for a while, I still couldn't figure out why my to-do lists never get done! Geesh- I guess having three kids is more work than I thought!

Still trying to figure out how much effort I want to dedicate to blogging in the first place. I'm also trying to initiate more self-regulation of how I spend my days- balancing kids, house, husband, friendships, work, free-time, etc. There are many things currently on my to-do list that fell to the back-burner while I devoted my time in November/December towards making the advent calendar (in which I only got 1/2 the ornaments done by the way- well, better some than none, right?) and homemade Christmas gifts. Which I'm still working on some of those as well, sorry, I'm a bit behind on everything these days! Clint is really holding everything together these days; as you can see (hear) I'm falling apart at the seams! ; ) {I'm smiling as I type this}

this is my life at the moment

2012-01-03T15:56:00.001-06:00

IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MUFFIN - she'll want a cup of coffee (or maybe chai or mint tea in my case) to go with it.

She'll pour herself some.

Her five-year-old will spill the coffee.

She'll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks.

She'll remember she has to do laundry.

When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.

Bumping into the freezer will remind her...... she has to plan supper.

She will get out a pound of hamburger.

She'll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger.)

The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.

She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.

She will look for her checkbook.

The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old.

She'll smell something funny.

She'll change the two-year-old.

While she is changing the two-year-old the phone will ring.

Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.

She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee.

Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.

She will pour herself some.

And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

by Kathy Fictorie
based on "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff

a great Christmas sermon

2011-12-30T10:13:00.005-06:00

So glad we rearranged our schedule to make it possible to attend our own church on Christmas Eve night! This is the best Christmas sermon I've ever heard. Partly because there are rarely full sermons at Christmas Eve services. But this year, since Christmas Eve/Day fell on the normal church days, our church did a "normal" Christmas Eve service with a full sermon. However, it is actually one of the best Pastor John Piper sermons I've ever heard as well. For some reason I was so struck by this. It was a view on Peace that I have never thought much of/heard of before. Really encouraging, very practical. I think I'll re-listen to it this weekend because I did have to leave the service twice to deal with our kiddos. I should also listen to it again about mid-December next year to put my heart into check before getting stressed and crabby about the crazy two-days we celebrate that are supposed to be joyous and peaceful but are often over-whelming.

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/a-savior-is-born-glory-to-god-peace-to-man

detox

2011-12-28T20:11:00.002-06:00

Clint and I (& Annie) started our annual Candida Cleanse. The one we do is actually called the "Take Care Detox". We decided a week ago to start it before the first of the year. Today went well actually but I anticipate that the next few days will be harder. I've binged on food and sweets for far too long and it's time to have more energy, sleep better and fit into my skinny jeans again! The goal isn't really to loose weight but to detoxify my body and give a jump start to healthier eating and practicing self-control. It's like a version of fasting almost because I am fasting from certain items, just not all food.

I think every year we do this (this is our 3rd year) we adapt more healthy choices to our normal family eating. I hope that this year with be the same and that we can stay away from sweets for a while and gain better self control as we do start eating some again. I really wish we could eat (almost) like this year-round but for some reason it seems so impossible. But maybe after 10 more years of adjusting our grocery list closer and closer to the cleanse list we'll get there.

If you're interested in doing a good cleanse soon let me know, I can email you the pdf booklet that explains this whole thing we're doing. You do have to exercise daily while on this and it is two weeks long. It's amazing how good you feel afterwards though! I really want to do a colon cleanse after this but have never done one so I'm a bit afraid (and suspect I lack self control for it, since you can't eat at all).

This cleanse isn't THAT bad; the hardest part is not eating ANY sweets/processed foods/most fruit. It's amazing how addicted our bodies become to sugar. Day 2-6 of the cleanse often feel like we're having withdrawal symptoms- It's crazy! If you're interested in reading a good article about this, I have a pdf of that too- called 12 Tips to Stop Sugar Cravings.

It seems like there is a lot we can eat like: eggs, nuts, chicken, brown rice, avocados, plain rice cakes, hummus, beans, legumes, berries, and veggies. However, eating just those items for two weeks straight drives you a little nuts. There are only so many ways to season/prepare chicken and rice! One cool thing Annie reminded me was that we can eat at Chipotle since they carry brown rice now! So I can get my bowl, nix the cheese and salsas- that would be a yummy treat!

However, I challenge you, to consider doing some type of cleanse this winter. It's good for your mind, soul and body. It teaches self-control and self-denial. It's challenging but oh, so rewarding!

Christmas Weekend

2011-12-27T10:02:00.002-06:00

Spencer & Vi at Grandpa & Grandma Jackson's on Christmas Eve

The 3 kiddos opening their gifts at my parents'

Aunt Libby, Addie, Aunt Logan and Grandpa

{Libby, Lexi, Me, Morgan, Mariah, Logan}

My sisters and I did a homemade gift exchange and we didn't know who had who.

It was fun to see who everyone had and what creative ideas they came up with!

I hope we can keep this a tradition; homemade gifts are so fun!

Spencer, Addie & Vi after Christmas Eve church

Violet WAS wearing a pretty black velvet dress but her diaper leaked like flood on my lap/dress in the middle of church (lovely)! I took her down to the nursery to find some spare clothing to wear for the rest of the service. Thankfully the pee didn't soak into my dress. So thankful we decided to attend our own church on Christmas Eve. It was one of the most amazing services with all my favorite Christmas Carols and an amazing sermon. Despite all the interruptions of our family: potty breaks, diaper leak, kids munching on snacks, dropping sippy cups, fighting over note pads, Spencer burping out-loud and then saying "excuse me" out loud, Violet throwing a screaming fit (you get the picture- we were quite the "gong-show" Christmas Eve), Clint and I kept a good attitude (wow) and were able to soak in the wonderful service- so worth it! It was so special to actually have Spencer and Violet with us this year- I can't tell you how many holidays we've been aching to have them home! I couldn't help but tear up while singing those Christmas songs imagining that starting night that Jesus was born and the wonder of it all!

Addie took this picture of Clint and I after Christmas Eve Church

This might be a good place to note that it is Clint's birthday today! Happy Birthday sweetheart! You are THE greatest husband! You are SUCH a helpful, tender, loving husband and father! You are our leader, defender, protector and family cornerstone. Without your strength and stability we all fall apart! Clint, your help around the house is so helpful and appreciated! You are so good at playing with the kids and having special time with them each individually. You give so much effort to make our family thrive! You are talented and so handy- I appreciate that about you so much! I admire how you rarely complain about any form of discomfort or frustration you may have or dealing with the kids. You listen to me for hours every night and invest so much into our marriage! You complete me so well and we think so much a like sometimes, it's funny. You can make me laugh like no one else and we share the same humor...some times. You know me so well and understand my needs! You put up with my crabby days, PMS days, and my need-to-get-out-of-the-house days. You pursue me, date me and romance me! I love watching you read the Bible to the kids! You help deal with the puke mess after you've been puked on while sleeping in bed (aka this weekend) and sleep on the floor with our daughter while she is sick. You are super hot and attractive but your personality out-weighs your looks ten-fold! I am so proud of you and believe in you! I am so proud to be your wife and I know the Lord will bless your obedience! Thank you for all you do Clint! I don't know what I'd do without you, literally! Praying for a another blessed year of life full of adventure and that the Lord will draw you closer to himself through the trials and joys 2012 brings! I love you honey!

Christmas morning at our house opening gifts as a family

Spencer got a mail carrier outfit

the hat fits better on Violet's fluffy hair

Violet and Clint at Grandma Jane's (Clint's mom) on Christmas Day

She is really growing love for him, which is sweet.

Spencer and Addie help Grandma Jane prep supper.

Addie was in ballerina attire the whole time.

Our first Christmas as a family of 5

5 of the 7 grandkids together- Louisa, Elinor, Addie, Violet, Spencer

We really missed (Clint's brother) Marty, Jessica, Kai & Fin who live in Seattle!

All the grandkids opening their gifts together at Grandma Jane's.

Spencer, Addie and Violet in their adorable owl-flannel jammies that Grandma Jane made them!

Oh, yeah, I meant to post a picture of my Christmas mantle earlier this month.

So fun to actually have a mantle for the stockings this year!

Despite the fact that we had a hard, stressful, sick (two pukers and a bladder infection) week leading up to Christmas, we did have a nice (fairly low-key) weekend with family, celebrating the joy we have in Christ! The best part was none of our extended families went over-board with gifts which was so encouraging and helped us keep our kids' focus on Jesus and not the love of "getting". Looking forward to a relaxing week hanging out in our jammies at home.

busy weekend

2011-12-20T14:14:00.006-06:00

Yay, my First Annual Cookie Exchange with friends from church was a hit! I had such a fun time hosting! Such a blessing to have a morning of fellowship {& food} sans kiddos!

Addie's kids choir sang in Church this Sunday!

We had a visit from the Anderson family! So fun to catch up and spend time together like the good-ol' days!

This weekend we also had my sister Lexi's graduation from Aveda. Congratulations Lexi!

well said, once again

2011-12-20T14:09:00.003-06:00

Jen Hatmaker has a fabulous blog post again about Christmas. It's worth the read and covers a myriad of facets surrounding Christmas. Good thoughts to chew on this Christmas. It's not too late to re-focus your Christmas celebration.

http://www.jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/29/the-christmas-conundrum

(for some reason the link button is not available at the moment, so you will have to copy and paste this in your browser)sorry there is no direct link.

consumerism

2011-12-19T09:00:00.003-06:00

[AC] Promo 2011 from Advent Conspiracy on Vimeo.

thank you Karen Feder Photography

2011-12-18T14:44:00.001-06:00

brain dump: update:thoughts:life: multiple posts in one

2011-12-15T14:19:00.011-06:00

Sorry, I've neglected the blog for quite some time now. Life is just very busy right now {and we hardly go anywhere}. I learned the hard way two weeks ago that running errands in the winter (15 degrees) with 3 kids (in car seats) puts me over the the edge is NOT worth it! I am in the midst of full time duties with sicknesses, ringworm control (Heaven help me), potty training (almost finished- Spencer wore underwear to church last weekend- yay!), more doctor appointments, Christmas shopping, Christmas gift making, advent calendar making, advent calender devotions, gift wrapping, working two plus nights a week at our church nursery, investing in my marriage at night, investing in my children by day, grocery shopping, meal making, house cleaning, dish washing, kid washing, laundry folding, etc. I swear I spend at least two hours a day in our bathroom wiping the three kiddos! I don't know why I thought it was a good year to make homemade gifts....???

However, despite the crazy cycle and never-ending to-do lists life is going really well lately! God's grace has been so evident in Clint and I in building love for our children and embracing our new normal. We are finally getting back to a routine of going to church, which was much needed. It feels good to worship with our church family even if we don't get to hear much of the sermon (all three kids sit with us the whole service).

Three kids in 2 1/2 years is a lot of work but we are finding joy in it. I wouldn't say we're done having children but we certainly feel "full" right now. We are noticing our children thrive on routine and staying home so we are still hunkering down and we have a pretty non-existent social life and we're growing content in it for this season....it's only a season, right?! However, we do know our social life may never be what it was because having three kids is just different than 1 four-year-old.

Even though things are going well, we need to keep working on attachment and making our little family our number one priority because realistically Clint only sees the kids a mere 2 hours a night, at best, so that isn't much time to build a solid relationship. We are finding the more we put in the more we see coming out- attachment speaking. Days when we're lazy or crabby or not motivated in love towards Spencer and Violet are the days they act out or seem detached from us. More and more we feel confirmed in dragging out this "hibernation" period and we don't plan for anyone to "babysit" or care for our kids (unless they're sleeping so we can go on a date) for closer to a year of being home. This may seem crazy but I highly doubt we'll regret it 5 years from now. We don't want to look back and realize we didn't put our time in. It's just obvious that we can't make up for 2-3 lost years of life in just a few months. This bonding thing is going to take a while from both sides of the relationship. I am excited to see where we're at in a year or two from now! All in all we continue to see good signs of attachment but it is kind of silly to make any judgement this early in the game.

Clint and I are doing awesome! PRAISE THE LORD! We have even gone on a few dates lately which is so life-giving for our relationship! Clint is champ around the house and with the kids! They all squeal for joy when he unlocks the front door at 4:50 every evening, coming home from work. I really admire him and couldn't do it without him! He has really stepped up to the plate to the extra duties this bigger family requires! We invest in our marriage every night and feel more in love now than we ever have! God's grace abounds because even when parenting feels so discouraging, we feel very stable in our love for each other. We are a team and it's been such a joy to walk through these past few months together with him.

Addie is growing up so fast! It's fun to see her mature but also heart-breaking as I want her to remain 3 forever! The conversations we have with her are just so funny and interesting. She is such a sponge and we are finally starting to see some of the fruit of Christ in her and joy of our labors in attempting to diligently parent her for the last few years. She is really helpful (sometimes on her own initiation) around the house. She is really learning how to play with Spencer well. However, she is still adjusting and there are many tears when she can't control the way toys are being played with or who plays with what. She joined our church kids' choir and loves it! She is singing all the time and can't stop talking about her desire to play piano and violin. She loves going on daddy-daughter dates with Clint! She recently got her first Highlights magazine in the mail (a gift from her great-Grandma Lola) and she is just obsessed with it! It's cute. She is eager to do home-school stuff but no matter how hard I try to fit it in, it just doesn't happen very often. We are slowly working on writing and recognizing letters and numbers.

Spencer is totally potty trained! It took a while but I'm glad I put the time in. He is gaining many English words, which means he is learning how to sass back when we ask him to do something- a new learning curve. He is full of questions and wants to learn so much! He is eager to help and wants to do everything Addie does. He still mostly calls himself "Meon". It's pretty cute. He loves playing with his wooden train set! He also likes to play dress up and carry around a purse and play with the baby accessories like his sisters. He often asks us to "nuggle" him. He also is starting to love reading books which is fun for us and good for his language development. He likes to watch us prepare meals and do whatever we are doing. He does NOT like to wrestle and loves to take showers. Spencer often likes to pretend being a dog, even though he is terrified of dogs. He will just start barking at random things for no reason, it's funny and often Addie and Tizu will chime in as well.

Violet is really needy and whinny lately- she cries a lot! She really wants to be held a lot and we are trying to do it as much as possible to build love and bonding. She often wants to do everything Spencer and Addie get to do but we often keep her back (for some reason 3 is always problematic). She is almost fully potty-trained. We started her on underwear this week and she is doing pretty well (she was previous naked from the waste down for the past month and a half). Violet calls her self "Bylet" or "Zoo". It's pretty cute. Like her big sister she is singing and dancing all the time! It's so darn adorable but if we look at her while she is doing it she get's so embarrassed, which is also cute. She is really trying hard at talking but we still don't understand most of what she says. It's a fun stage...I love the gibberish. She LOVES playing with the baby doll stuff. Another funny thing is that Violet is very honest when she disobeys...it's pretty surprising. Though she cries a lot we hear equally as many laughs coming out of this little girl.

So that is a little run down on our life lately and a glimpse into all that we're learning about our children's personalities lately. I promise I'm not letting the blog go but I might not post much till after Christmas. I think about it a lot and have many ideas cooking but it just doesn't happen.

P.S.- Sorry if there are a ton of errors or typos in this...who has time to proof read?

our Christmas tree day

2011-12-05T20:01:00.009-06:00

Christmas cards were sent! YAHOO! This is 3 weeks earlier than last years cards! I was pretty proud of myself for being ahead of the game this year. It helped that we had our family pictures taken the last weekend of October! I LOVE sending and receiving Christmas cards! We send out way too many cards but this is our only communication with some old friends and we met many new families over the past year through our adoption that we want to keep in touch with as well.

Everyone is buckled in for the long ride out of the city to a tree farm.

We were all patiently waiting as Clint was in Caribou getting us a treat on the way.

Violet was a mile behind us but she was determined to walk on her own.

She tripped many a times in her snow boots.

Addie's half-effort smile.

She said she was cold but it was actually pretty warm.

Obviously we didn't let Violet walk for too long.

We trekked through the Balsam firs looking for just the right tree.

We settled on this tree. It was small but perfect {in Addie and my eyes}.

Clint was so close to leaving it cut in the field and finding a different tree- he thought it was way too small.

We stopped for lunch at Subway on the way home and then put "the kids" {Spencer & Violet} to bed for nap as soon as we got home. Addie and I decorated the tree together after Clint got the lights strung on. Then Clint moved outside to put more Christmas lights up- this time on a tree in our yard. We love Christmas lights- especially only trees. This year we ditched our mismatched blue icicle lights that we've had for 5 years and got white ones! I just love them! Can you spot him outside our window? It was a pretty snowy day and we listened to Christmas music as we decorated our home for Christmas. We also got our mantle ready with stockings and brought out our two nativity sets {one for looks & one to play with for kids}. We capped our family day off with attending Saturday night church for second week of advent. It was a good day. I told Clint that I finally feel like we have ample Christmas decorations that I love. It's only taken 7 years of marriage collecting year by year more ornaments and decor for our home. I love Christmas time!

sickness and sewing

2011-11-30T14:05:00.007-06:00

Sorry for the lack of blogging. We are all finally on the mend from our long bout with colds.

All 5 of us were lucky enough to get it.

We are surely going through a ridiculous amount of "kleenex" boxes these days!

This past weekend I started going nuts hand sewing the advent calendar kit I bought.

It's so time consuming but fun and rewarding.

I'm learning as I go because I've never hand-stitched or crossed stitched before.

Our dining table has become my craft table.

Here are a few of the tree ornaments I've completed.

I would highly recommend this advent calendar to all!

Here is at least one pic of the kiddos from today.

So typical- Tizu's reaction. Our kids are just a little over dramatic!

{only} 50 things I'm thankful for today {in no particular order}

2011-11-24T10:23:00.002-06:00

1) Spencer & Violet are FINALLY home!

2) Clint being so HELPFUL with the kids and around the house, couldn’t do it without him

3) Clint is super patient with me and has low expectations in regards to house work getting done

4) Addie has been so helpful around the house the past few months!

5) God’s provision over our finances

6) Being able to stay home with my kids

7) Clint has had a good, steady job for a year now

8) An amazing Landlord and home to rent, we love it here

9) Health for our immediate family members

10) Health insurance- such a blessing right now in our lives

11) A vehicle that runs well still and doesn’t have monthly payments

12) A small job at our church as Nursery Coordinator

13) The internet (well that’s a blessing and curse at times)

14) My close friends who I can barely make time for these days but they understand: Annie, Andie, Kara, Karen, Sarah, Neely, Erika, Tiffany, Deb, Kim and the list goes on…

15) My sisters- I love having 5 sisters- so fun

16) My parents and in-laws

17) So many grandparents that are still alive

18) Undeserved mercy, forgiveness, patience, love, grace, kindness and salvation from the Lord

19) Mint green tea from Trader Joes

20) Black yoga pants

21) Used kids stores in the winter when there are no more garage sales

22) Clean house, as rare as that is

23) My eye issues that I had earlier this year got figured out and hasn’t flared up since

24) Getting mail, the non-bill kind

25) Not having a tv, so glad we don’t have one

26) Movies- so glad we can watch them when desired

27) Hot showers, it’s a forgotten luxury

28) An 8 foot trampoline in our basement that our kids play on when they need some energy release

29) Cell phones

30) Cameras

31) Awesome family pictures taken by my friend Karen

32) Pottery Barn discounts cards in the mail

33) Watching Addie breast-feed her baby doll

34) Snuggling with Violet at bedtime

35) Spencer dancing

36) My Ethiopia Adoption Moms Support Network in MN and across the US: Heather, Rachel, Sarah, Heidi, Marty, Angel, Jill, Brianne, Margo, April, Laura, Rebecca and more….

37) Books, I love reading, wish I had more time for it these days

38) Pinterest

39) Living close to Clint’s work

40) Living relatively close to most of our extended family

41) A mantle to decorate this Christmas

42) Free babysitter offers

43) Forgiveness from my kids and husband when I am crabby or over-react

44) People who pray for us….it is much needed

45) Older, wiser women in my life

46) Ringworm cream

47) Music and iTunes

48) Wood floors during potty training

49) Clint’s handy-man and woodworking skills

50) Pastor John, a good church, living in a free country where we can attend the church of our choice

first snow for our little Ethiopian-Americans

2011-11-22T21:07:00.005-06:00

When Spencer woke from his nap Saturday, he screamed as he noticed the snow coming down! Clint bundled the kiddos up and brought them outside right away. Violet could hardly walk in her snowsuit. She probably won't be making too many ventures outside this winter. Spencer really loved being outside! He insisted on having his mittens off but he found out real fast that it was too cold for that. He asked for them back on within a few minutes. Along with making a mini hill in the yard Clint took the older two to a sliding hill. Both the kids liked watching Dad go down the hill more than actually going themselves. What a fun winter this should be! ; ) Thank goodness for Clint because that is one thing I really dislike doing....playing outside in the snow!

who is God?

2011-11-21T14:53:00.002-06:00

SSJP Ver.2 from Grace in Cranberry on Vimeo.

my birthday

2011-11-19T11:16:00.003-06:00

I had a great birthday yesterday! It was a low-key, fairly normal day but my time with the kids was good! We ran some errands together in the morning; it was nice to get out of the house!

I was pleasantly surprised to get so many cards in the mail yesterday! Opening mail is always fun especially on my birthday! I also got two cards the day before!

In the evening I met up with all my sisters and mom for our annual church craft show! So fun!! I found a scarf I wanted to buy with birthday money but I left the booth for 5 minutes and came back later to discover it gone, sold to some one else- bummer! I probably should just learn to make the scarf myself anyways! I didn't find anything else for myself. Just got some kitchen scrubbies and a headband for Vi made out of pantyhose! I have to make some more of those myself too- so creative great way to repurpose old pantyhose that have a snag or hole in one leg- love it!

After the craft show Clint and I went on a date! We went to eat at one of my favorite places- Good Earth, to enjoy their awesome spinach-artichoke dip and a smoothy! Then we came home and crashed after a long week! Hoping to go to bed early this weekend to catch up on some sleep!

I wouldn't recommend 3 birthdays in one week, but I suppose who can plan that, right? Next year we might have to opt for one joint birthday bash on a weekend!

Happy 3rd Birthday Spencer!

2011-11-18T13:47:00.011-06:00

{Pictures are a little out of order}

Gift opening went a little better this time around!

We celebrated Spencer & Violet's birthday last night with Clint's mom, brother Jake & his girls and Clint's Grandparents!

Spencer got the Spencer train from the Thomas the Train set! Keepsake toy!

Spencer has been loving the wood train set we have, he plays with it almost every day.

Addie & cousin Elinor are enjoying their cake

Tizu & cousin Louisa playing together.

They're only 3 months apart and they are both "half-pints".

We broke our own rule and allowed Spencer and Vi to sit on Grandma Della & Pa's laps for a picture! We figured we needed to take advantage of the moment since Clint's grandparents are over 80. I guess great-grandparents are entitled to special rights! So precious, especially considering the era they grew up in!

Spencer eating his veggies before his pizza and cake!

He will eat anything with ranch dip on it!

This was earlier in the day before we left to run some errands!

Spencer loved his crown so much he wore it to Target- it was pretty cute!

Thanks Auntie Jessica for the fun crowns! The both fit great!

Here was my attempt at lego cake.

Spencer also love to play with legos.

It was pretty easy yet hard to frost nicely.

We had a fun week but everyone is pooped out and taking long naps! I was so hopped up on sugar (two root beers and some cake with ice cream) that I couldn't fall asleep last night! Vi didn't sleep well last night either and she was up by 5am! Yikes. No more cake! Thankful the birthday parties are over {almost}!

my two 2-year-olds

2011-11-16T21:15:00.001-06:00

They are the same age...for a whole 3 days that is!

Happy 2nd Birthday Violet!

2011-11-15T19:05:00.012-06:00

Good morning Vi!

First thing she woke to the decorated dining room!

We had her open her crown from Auntie Jessica- when I handed it to her wrapped she tried to eat it- I guess she probably has never opened a gift before!

Hanging out in her highchair before birthday pizza!

Aunties: Mariah and Morgan

Tizu in her tutu

Aunties: Logan & Libby

ice cream cone cupcakes

Grandma & Addie

Addie & Spencer help Vi open up a gift

The gift opening was hard on Addie, it was the first sibling birthday party.

the 5 of us on Violet's special day (yesterday)

One-year referral-anniversary {11/11/11}

2011-11-13T22:05:00.009-06:00

These are some of the first pictures we saw of Milion & Tizeta a year ago! Seems hard to believe; so surreal that these children are now ours and living in our home!

I remember the day we got "the call". At that point we had been officially waiting for a referral for over a year. We were anticipating receiving our referral "soon" because we knew the families who turned in Dossiers just days a head of us (Mummerts & Diazs) already got their referrals months ago.

Every morning we wondered if THIS would be the day. If we hadn't gotten the call by the time Clint left for work(he was working evenings at the time) we assumed that day was not THE DAY because our agency was one hour ahead of us. Clint had left for work at 2:45pm. I sat down to my sewing machine and was working on the pillow covers for our couch when I unexpectedly got the call at 3pm on Veterans Day! Well, I guess you can just read the rest of the story here if you're interested.

Can't believe how much they have changed this past year! So thankful for our referral pictures and monthly updates...at least we have some pictures of their lives before joining our family! So glad to be celebrating their birthdays with them this year! I remember being so sad getting their referral just days before their birthdays!

In all honesty, it was kind of weird getting the referral. It's odd to get the pictures and think "hey, that is our kids". Love at first sight seems more natural when you get to hold your child (baby) in your arms and kiss them. I remember feeling shock at first then filled with excitement! I remembered I printed off pictures immediately and went to go show my mom! It was fun to tell our family members the "big news" and then show them pictures! It made our adoption process seem more validated for some reason; it felt more real at that point!

We "celebrated" our referral-anniversary with a sweet treat at supper time Friday night! It was just a special day to reminisce over these first pictures and snuggle my "babies" in my arms!

Read my friend Jill's blog post here. Jeff & Jill received their referral the same day as us and we traveled together for court back in March. Oh, how I miss them! Wish they lived closer!

busy living life in our new normal

2011-11-12T21:36:00.005-06:00

Well, life has been busy, so busy that I haven't been on the computer much...which is a good thing really. Even though doctors appointments are dwindling and we still are not venturing out a lot but we still seem busy in our small house with 5 people!

We mostly have been working hard-core on potty training with Spencer and Vi. So far it's going well, for the most part! We are certainly saving a lot of money on diapers. We just keep the kiddos naked from the waste down and have found that to be very successful! So we try to stay home because it doesn't work to well to potty train while we're out and about. However, Violet has told us in public that she has to use the potty and has also woken from naps to go pee! We have discovered that finding a potty situation your child likes its helpful. We were putting Violet on a potty seat on the big toilet and she hated it but then we tried her on a kiddie potty and she loved it! However, we had many "misses" and her pee kept getting on the floor because she didn't sit back far enough. But then we borrowed an AWESOME Baby Bjorn kiddie potty and she does much better! It's almost fool-proof as far as getting the pee in the bucket because of the shape. I'd highly recommend that potty!

We decided it would be best for Spencer and Violet to not go trick-or-treating but we did get them costumes (I'll get a picture on here of them in those soon). A few days before Halloween I decided to run to like 6 stores in one day (with all three kids in tow-wow craziness) trying to find the above costume for Addie! She decided last minute she wanted to be a cupcake and I was felt a mommy-soft-spot for her that day and was determined to make her recent change in costume desire come true! YAY for Pottery Barn Kids- on the clearance rack for $22!

I've also been busy with finally getting some things done around the house like cleaning off dressers, putting summer clothes away into appropriate organized bins in the basement, cleaning out our desk that was a collect-all when we were moving almost a year-ago- yikes! I'm noticing that in order to stay sane in a 2 bed/1 bath home with 5 people it's imperative to purge often, have a place for everything and keep organized! It's a learning curve! If we don't LOVE it, NEED it or USE it, to Good-will it goes! Unless of course it's of any value- then Craigslist! Needless to say we're going slim for birthdays and Christmas. By the time the 3rd kid roles around you already have almost every baby gadget and toy! Less IS more!

Speaking of birthdays...this is our big week...

November 11th -1 year referral-anniversary- (blog post on it's way)

November 14th- Violet's 2nd Birthday

November 15th- 3 year anniversary of submitting application to CWA to adopt! CRAZY!

November 17th- Spencer turns 3!

November 18th- my birthday

...pretty sure we'll be having lots of cake this week and many blog posts!

How are we doing you might ask... well, over-all I think we're doing good! Albeit a bit crazy, I feel like I'm going completely bonkers at times! Honestly, I'm still dealing with a lot of anger and selfishness on my part! My heart has certainly been revealed and it's UGLY! Lots of refining going on in our house and it's not fun but needed! The good thing about seeing myself accurately is that I see what a GREAT Savior Jesus is and how much I need him daily! I might look like a do-good, loving person, nice neighbor, helpful wife, tender mom on the outside or to outsiders but oh, I am so far from it, don't be fooled. My biggest prayer the past few years has been asking the Lord to rid me of my pride and SHOW me my sin (because of my pride I was often blinded to seeing it) and HE has answered by giving me three kids! So, it's all good really, just many tough days still, for me and for them! But we are definitely coming out of the initial fog, which is nice! We are getting into a rhythm of our new normal.

By the way, I have not started making my advent calendar yet...yikes- that is NOT a good sign! I better get my but in gear or I might consider using hot glue instead of hand stitching all 25 ornaments!

advent calendar

2011-10-26T08:58:00.000-05:00

I know Christmas is still 2 months away but I just ordered this DIY Advent Calendar! Though it's a lot cheaper to go with this DIY version I was really hoping to buy the pre-made one but she is booked for 2011 and already taking orders for 2012! Really excited to put my own time and love into this as well although I'm a little nervous I'll have enough time to get it done! I've been searching high and low for years to get a quality, Biblical advent calendar for our family! Sadly, there are very few options on the internet or etsy. I couldn't wait any longer as Addie is getting older and I want to have a calendar that she (and Spence & Vi) will remember always using during the advent season. Yep....I think I'm crazy for trying to do this, especially THIS year...oh, boy!! It will certainly be my "labor of love" this Christmas! I guess this is going to be one, big home-made Christmas as we are doing a hand-made gift exchange this year with my siblings! Should be a fun & memorable Christmas! 'Tis the Season! Check out Lisa's etsy site to order your own!

all together

2011-10-25T19:43:00.002-05:00

Look who's in town...Clint's brother Marty, his wife Jessica and sons Kai and Finn! YAY! We've been so thankful to have them in Minnesota! So glad to be able to meet Finn and for them to meet Spencer & Violet! They came just in time to see the beautiful fall colors, enjoy the nice cool Minnesota weather and help with leaf clean-up at Jane's this past weekend. So fun to have all 7 cousins and all 4 brothers together!

This was our first family get-together since Spencer & Violet have been home! We were a little nervous as to how it would go but it went real well! Spencer & Violet did great and the family ignored them well- exactly what we asked them to do! More pictures of our fun day to come!

king-size hypocrisy

2011-10-24T14:30:00.000-05:00

Yep, I used to call it a "bad-marriage bed" and now I love it! We have a great marriage and we are loving our king-size bed right now! You can get out of bed without the other person feeling it, you can spread out and not touch each other when desired {albeit this is my one complaint as Clint and I don't seem to snuggle as much at night however we make occasional efforts to meet in the middle for a good-night kiss when there isn't an extra body between us}, there is lots of room for snugly kids in the morning and there is always space for a spare sleeper during the night! This is the very practical option for us right- so glad our bedroom is big enough to fit it! Oh, and I just found this bed skirt at Target on clearance for $9- yay! King bedding is usually terribly expensive!

P.S.- Did I ever mention that I'm obsessed with blue ticking stripe?!?!

chipotle love

2011-10-23T22:58:00.000-05:00

It's official, they love Chipotle! It's our favorite, wait... only place to eat out as a family! Every time we went this summer Addie would say "what if my brother and sister don't like Chipotle"? Then Clint or I would expectantly respond with "well, they just HAVE to; we'll make them"!

Though we didn't have to force Chipotle down their throats we did have to order it slim: rice, black beans, corn, cheese & guac. Spencer is still warming up to tomatoes. It's a good start!

for Jessi

2011-10-21T10:27:00.003-05:00

falling for ginger cookies

2011-10-20T22:44:00.004-05:00

We discovered this yummy, thin, crunchy version at IKEA! We had to go back and get some more! Not really finding time to bake as much as I'd like to these days! This shall suffice!

rebound

2011-10-20T22:18:00.003-05:00

After a 3 year hiatus I am finally starting to send letters again! I depleted my previous card supply so I just purchased this brick of note cards at Target. It has 200 in it (for only $13-such a deal)! This WAS so much a part of who I was. I love letter writing, the old fashioned way! Addie and I "fight" to see who gets to dig the mail out of our mail slot in the front closet {it's kind of strange not having to walk outside to a mail box anymore-oh, a joy of city life}!

I love sending people notes: birthdays, anniversaries, thinking of you, praying for you, just for fun, thank yous for normal things and random-small things, appreciation, anonymous admiration...oops, maybe I shouldn't mention that.

You see, when I lost our two sons in 2008, I sunk into a mild-depressive like state. I was so needy that there wasn't much left over to over-flow to others. So my card writing habits moved to the back burner. At times I was blinded by self-pity and didn't fully see the needs of others around me. I've actually had people notice the lack of note writing!

And now I'm a crazy, busy mom but I'm just longing to send out notes again! I figure now is as good a time as ever! Can't wait for life to be perfect and easy to start loving others! Though I've become a more avid email and text user over the years, it's just not the same!

So, who have you thought about several times this week? Has anyone done something seemingly insignificant but noticeable to you? Know a widow's birthday? Have you been praying for some one random whom you barely know? TELL THEM! Send them a note! Everyone LOVES mail and feels special when some one is thinking of them, praying for them or notices their almost--hidden efforts! You'll never know how much your note of encouragement will mean to them! So simple, so meaningful! Go buy some stamps!

fall mantle decor

2011-10-19T22:09:00.002-05:00

a few tid-bits

2011-10-19T21:36:00.004-05:00

-we started home-school preschool this week! YAY! Which means Addie is weening from naps because that is our work time. This is a bitter-sweet thing for me (no nap=no break). But Addie is ready for this and I am too.

-our second date night ended only 20 minutes after it began, Spencer woke up! He hasn't done this for over 3 weeks so we thought we were in the clear for sure- oops! Our babysitter called and we rushed home from Target (yeah, hot date huh?- we're discovering not much is open after 8:30pm- we can't even get groceries at Costco at that hour). Anyways...Spencer was pretty upset and we were up till midnight with him and Addie-not cool.

-I've been to 5 doctors visits in 7 business days. We still have dentist visits for all 5 of us, eye exams for the 3 kiddos, and hearing tests for the kids as well. I am actually starting to LOVE doctors appointments because it get's me out of the house! I actually put make-up on! I especially love going to the University clinics because they have cheap valet parking and it is just so awesome when I'm alone with three kiddos as apposed to hiking a few blocks-especially come winter!

-things are going really well lately! The past 6 days have gone really awesome actually. My attitude has been much better which is so crucial. Also I feel like we're finally coming out of the fog of the initial adjustment period. However, it's still clear to us that we need to keep the kids home and on their routine as much as possible! Though it's going way better and we seem to have more good days then bad days (wow) it's still tough, challenging and testing at times!

-The days just fly by and we get NOTHING done aside from attempting to keep up with the dishes and laundry and occasionally I clean our toilet and sweep. My to-do list and honey-do list is growing longer and we never get anything checked off. Addie asked me why I keep wearing the same sweater today and it's because I still haven't gotten my fall/winter clothes out yet- another thing on my list. And for the first time, by 8pm we are so pooped we have no energy to work at our lists. Suddenly what I could have gotten done in a week, now will take me months to complete!

-We had our first social worker visit today. I actually had forgotten about it till about 2 hours before she came. It went well and she thinks Spencer and Violet appear to be doing really well and the building blocks of attachment appear to be in place. That was encouraging to hear though it doesn't say a ton as it's still really early to make any judgement calls.

-I've already started purchasing Christmas gifts and craft supplies to make some gifts! This is WAY early for me but I don't have time to shop or sit in lines after thanksgiving so I'm starting early. It feels good to have a jump start to it so it doesn't be come a burden. Not sure how I will carve out time to make some gifts but I hope that if I start now it might possibly happen.

-last night we took the kids for a walk past 7pm so it was dark and we put glow stick bracelets on them. It was a fun family thing to do. When we got back we played with the glow sticks in the house with the lights off and it provided lots of entertainment! Such a great $1 section buy at Michaels!

-we are unofficially back to potty-training Tizu. She's been awesome on the potty for 4 days now. I don't know what's going on?!?!

-I've been scouring craigslist for winter jacket and snow pant sets for Spencer & Addie to no avail. And a size 2t leotard for Violet- I'm starting to think they don't exist that small. And no success on finding a cute-ugly, vintage couch (free or super cheap) for our family photo shoot next week either! Disappointed craigslist!

apple orchard

2011-10-15T21:06:00.013-05:00

Last weekend we ventured to an apple orchard just outside the city.

The apple orchard had a pumpkin patch as well!

Violet (and her siblings) constantly stare at other people when we're in public.

Apparently I didn't bother to style Violet's hair much that day.

Spencer loves to help carry things for us! He's a big boy helper!

It took 50 shots with this pose to achieve this picture!

Love that Spencer has a Hawaiian like tank on during a rare 80 degree Minnesota -October apple orchard visit!

The sky was beautiful!

Trespassing to snag an apple to snack on...Dad is quite the example!

This was Violet's face when we caught her taking a bite of an apple she found on the ground!

You can't see it but the other side of the apple was rotting and had ants all over!

Spencer loved eating his apple whole- usually at home I cut it up for him.

Mr & Mrs

Yep, pretty sure fall is the best time of year!

We took the long way home and enjoyed a scenic drive!

This was actually my favorite part of the day!

Unfortunately this picture does not do justice to the amazing spread of color in the trees.

violet

2011-10-13T12:47:00.011-05:00

Violet always has her tongue out!

She loves to be held! She thought she was pretty cool wearing this vest!

This is her second most common expression!

Most often you can find her looking like this (above: pointing with one hand, other hand in the mouth).

Oops- Great-Grandpa Cliff was not supposed to hold her, but we were busy cleaning up after Spencer & Violet's dedication and who's going to argue with a 85 (+?) year-old?

It's been fun to reuse Addie's clothing for Violet, brings back memories.

The 12-24 month window is my favorite age!

Potty training was going well but then we got into some power struggles and for my sanity we stopped.

Violet is a super happy girl! She giggles and laughs A LOT!! She likes to tease and be chased. She can be a complete stinker yet she has a soft side that if ever Spencer or Addie cries she tries to make them happy or give them a toy- even when they don't deserve it!

She will eat absolutely anything and loves to snuggle! She get's very upset when she doesn't get treated like a big-girl, equal to her big siblings! She is very charming (but we often can tell she's trying to use it to her advantage). She copies anything Spencer or Addie are doing. She often reminds us to pray at each meal and is a big cheerleader when anyone finishes their meal, cleans up the toys or does something good! Tizu is a very big klutz- she trips over her own feet and often doesn't look where she's going therefore runs into things constantly-poor thing! She is also starting to talk (in English) and says "thank you" all the time, she will now attempt to repeat anything we ask her to say. She hates when I touch her hair to wash or style!

raw veggies

2011-10-10T12:35:00.004-05:00

After much perseverance Spencer & Violet not only tolerate vegetables they now devour raw veggies with the help of ranch dip! It took them a while to eat because of how hard they are, so we have been eating veggies but they were usually frozen cooked veggies. Tizu is almost off puree- yippee! They LOVE cucumbers the most!

pinspiration via Pinterest!

2011-10-09T20:19:00.004-05:00

Ok, so I saw the above sign on Pinterest and thought it was fitting for my new found ~~addiction~~ hobby with the Pinterest website [while the kids are in bed of course]. It’s actually my creative outlet idea forming playground. Did that make sense? AND it serves to ORGANIZE all the ideas I have floating in my head or on paper. I also discover new creative [p]inspiration and how-tos I want to attempt. I can pin pictures of food delicacies and it will link me back to the originator and the recipe- how cool! It leads me to other blogs or websites that are helpful or interesting. It’s a picture collage of all things wonderful! It’s awesome! You should join! Here is a link to my pin boards to give you a feel for what it's all about- http://pinterest.com/amcalpine17/

spencer

2011-10-06T14:10:00.010-05:00

He loves wearing Dad's watch!

He likes to close his eyes half-way when he smiles and he thinks it's the silliest thing!

"Ben-ter" {spencer} (as he calls himself) is such a happy boy!

However, he is also crazy emotional {cries a lot} and very, very loving and touchy.

His emotions and love can actually be over-bearing/over-whelming at times but I guess I should be thankful because I think it's a good thing.

For the life of me I can't tame his crazy left eye-brow! So many of the hairs stick straight-up.

It's a unique trademark I guess.

Man this little stinker is so hard to get pictures of! He usually looks angry and spaced out! Though Spencer is super smiley he is rarely photogenic! However, when I catch him at the {rare} right time, I snap the camera like crazy because he's stinking adorable!

Spencer is super funny and crazy! He is totally a boy and wakes up perky and loud! I can't get him to stop talking, singing or screaming! I'm still getting used to the whole boy thing, I guess! He is usually not overly hyper unless Clint is wrestling him which unfortunately, often happens right before bed! He sings with drama, as if he was on American Idol- it's pretty hilarious actually. I swear, if we didn't know better, we'd think he sat and watched American MTV the whole day in his orphanage! He loves to dance and often looks completely goofy while doing it!

I am really hoping he will cooperate when we have our family pictures taken in a few weeks! So, so excited for family pictures! Brewing some fun ideas and working on coordinating outfits and locations! If you need family pictures for Christmas, book a session now! My friend Karen is awesome & worth every penny! I already emptied a wall in my dining room for future frames with pictures from our upcoming photo-shoot. Apparently, I'm assuming it's going to turn out well! ;)

date night

2011-10-06T14:03:00.004-05:00

We had our first date-night this week! We left after the kiddos were sleeping because they have not been waking up in the night for quite some time so we thought it would be safe for us to go out- and it was! It was SO fun to get out of the house together with no children! YAY! However, we went to a movie, so it wasn't a super connecting-type-date, just a get-a-break-type-date. Which is just what we needed! We saw Courageous! It was SOOO good! I would highly recommend going! So worth the money & your 2 hours! It's funny because we spent $14 on pop (Cherry Coke) and popcorn- crazy, I know, and our tickets we only $5 each. Such a rip-off but still worth it as we don't go to movies more than twice a year. Of course, since it's not made by Hollywood, it's not as high of quality of acting but considering it all, I thought they did a great job! I cried and cried. So, go! I posted the preview a few blog posts back! Can't wait to go on another date-night next week!

180- must see

2011-09-30T22:37:00.001-05:00

When does life begin? Abortion in America is similar to the Hollocaust! Watch to find out the horrific truth!

racial harmony

2011-09-30T22:28:00.002-05:00

This is a little introduction to our pastor's new book- Bloodlines. A book about Racial reconciliation from a man who used to be a racist. Racial reconciliation is something that is encouraged at our church and one key reason for our adoption, in particular our adoption of brown skinned children.

By the way, today Clint and I really through-off our 9-year-old brown-skinned neighbor girl who came over to play. She couldn't figure out how Spencer & Violet were Addie's siblings (we didn't say they were adopted). She asked Addie what her mom looked like (I was in the house at first) and then I came out and she asked "is that you're mom?"!!! I think she was shocked that I was white. She didn't come out and ask but continued to ask questions and had her thinking face on. It was quite funny.

Bloodlines Documentary with John Piper from Crossway on Vimeo.

http://thegospelcoalition.org/book-reviews/review/bloodlines

http://www.desiringgod.org/

movie recommendations

2011-09-27T00:02:00.001-05:00

picture update

2011-09-26T23:40:00.009-05:00

committed

2011-09-23T16:20:00.001-05:00

It appears I've made some serious commitments in my life: my marriage, my children, my relationship with the Lord. But sometimes I wonder if I am really as committed as I say I am. Sometimes I feel weary and show signs of lack of commitment towards the ones I love.Can I carry out my vows to the fullest? Can I finish the race strong?

Am I committed to my marriage through thick and thin? Even when my husband doesn't meet my needs? Or when I think horrible thoughts about him? Even when we go to bed angry at each other? Even when my husband makes a decision I don't agree with?

Am I committed to take my job as a parent seriously? Even when it literally becomes a 24/7 job and there is no break and I'm exhausted? Even when I can't be as social as I'd like because it's important to keep my kids home? Even if I can't buy new clothing because our children take up a huge chunk of a tight budget? Even if that means putting my family first when I'd rather be doing other things that seem more fun?

Am I committed to the Lord when HIS plans don't go as "I planned them"? Even when he sends countless hardships repeatedly into my life? Even if I feel uncomfortable sharing the Gospel with someone because I have doubts at times myself and don't feel like a perfect enough display of Christianity lived out? Even when he feels silent and I can't see him working in me? Even when I don't feel like reading my Bible or praying? Even if cost my life by living sacrificially or dying a martyr?

The dictionary defines commitment as a pledge, promise or obligation. I want to feel delight in my promises but it's easy to feel drudgery towards my obligations. Same thing, different views. It may be possible to remain fully committed while carrying bitterness, resentment and anger- but what good does that do? Wouldn't I rather carry out my pledge in humility, love, sacrifice and joy? Well, that sounds good but my heart is sinful. Therefore it's plagued daily with thoughts and feelings that are naturally selfish, prideful and demanding. Which is real ugly when it over-flows my heart into my speech, body language and attitude.

It's easy to love people and "commitments" when they benefit us! It's easy when they bring us happiness or help us achieve our goals. But what happens when things don't go as planned. Or when our commitments are more work and take more of our time than we anticipated? What happens when the newness wears off and spiritual high is gone and our commitment suddenly appears to be an inconvenience to my own agenda?

It's hard to invest mentally so I can be fully intimate with my husband at night when I'd rather blog. It's hard to think of Clint's affection needs when it doesn't come natural to me. It's challenging to be consistent in discipline and take time for the productive conversations & snuggles that follow when I'd rather be checking my email. It's challenging to play on the floor all morning with my kids because it's often boring. It's difficult to get into the Word each morning when I'd rather be sleeping. It's difficult to remember to pray to the Lord for advise before seeking the counsel of family or friends when I'm in a rut.

Thankfully my Heavenly Father, Jesus, is committed to me in the midst of my ugliness.

The Bible says in 1 John 4: 18-20

¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

¹⁹ We love because he first loved us. ²⁰ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.

and Romans 5:6 says

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.

and Romans 5:8 also explains

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

and Romans 3:10-18 states

¹⁰ As it is written:

“There is no one righteous, not even one;
¹¹ there is no one who understands;
there is no one who seeks God.
¹² All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.”^[b]
¹³ “Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit.”^[c]
“The poison of vipers is on their lips.”^[d]
¹⁴ “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”^[e]
¹⁵ “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
¹⁶ ruin and misery mark their ways,
¹⁷ and the way of peace they do not know.”^[f]
¹⁸ “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”^[g]

He is my hope and my salvation. He is committed in his love for me, how much more am I now able to copy my Father and through love remain fully and joyfully committed to my family? He laid down his life for me, how much more encouraged should I be to give the same sacrifice for others? The Holy Spirit resides in me and enables me to follow in Christ's footsteps! I can do this for it is through Christ, that I may have strength that trumps my natural weaknesses.

1 John 3:16-17 also reminds me

¹⁶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?

and John 15:12-14 says

¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command.

and John 10:11 states

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

So why exactly is it a surprise to me that God has orchestrated my life in such that I am forced to face the realities of my sinful heart, trek through the murky waters of my soul daily and put on self-denial and lay down my life, my earthly life, in whole-hearted, crazy-love-saturated, with joyful commitment to serve others? It's what he created us to do! It's what he's shown us how to do! It's what he wants us to do! It's required of us and that should be exciting to us, not loathsome.

Oh, may the Lord abide in my heart, may my mind thirst for you, oh my Savior. Perform heart-surgery to my soul as I preach the Gospel to myself daily. The Gospel isn't just a cure for a non-believer it's hope, a refreshment for a Christian's soul daily in the walk of sanctification!

Lord, teach my to live what I believe. Help me to walk bigger than I can talk, even in the hidden places of my home in which only my family sees the real me, the selfish me. Prevent me from seeking joy in things not of you and keep me from the temptation to sway from the commitments you've called me to! Hold me Lord, may I hold fast to the goodness you set before me. May I run this race with vigor. May I endure to the end!

Will I stay committed till death do us part with my husband, my children and my Savior? I intend to- Lord willing, through His mighty grace alone! To him be the glory!

Philippians 1:6

⁶ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

random links

2011-09-22T09:58:00.002-05:00

Here are few things I've read lately that I found interesting-

1) http://wesleyanarminian.wordpress.com/2008/12/24/stuff-young-calvinists-like-satire/

2) http://www.girlsgonewise.com/the-over-sexualization-of-little-girls/

3) http://thebowblog.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/pediatric-cancer-jesus-and-victor/

http://www.twincities.com/ci_18847692?source=most_emailed

The last two links are about a boy from our church whom I didn't know personally. For those of you who attended our dedication service, Pastor John talked about Victor a few times throughout the service. It was after hearing of him in that service that I started to learn more about him. He has an incredible story- both links are very encouraging for my soul and hopefully yours too!

5

2011-09-22T08:57:00.004-05:00

i've wiped 5 poopy butts before 9am and not one of them belonged to Clint.

this seems to be a reoccurring thing these days.

also, Tizu has woken in the morning with soaking wet pajamas the past 3 mornings in a row and it happens more often then waking with dry jammies.

i even put her in a size bigger of diaper and cut off her liquids after supper and she still pees 3 lbs of liquid in the night.

one month home

2011-09-21T15:10:00.009-05:00

Our family with my sisters (& Brother-in-law) and parents

{all above pictures provided by our friend Nick Hanson}

It's been a whole month since this exciting, draining, crazy day! Hard to believe. Time does go by fast. Today was actually one of the best days so far- I was able to be truly thankful that Spencer & Violet are now here. I don't honestly feel that way very often because this past month has been one of self-denial and it's been a hard adjustment at times for everyone- Clint and I included. Some of the issues we deal with are normal considering we went from 1 preschooler to having a preschooler and two toddlers. Things like having a messy house, barely being able to get lunch fixed- let alone be nutritious, changing poopy diapers all day, being a referee 24/7 and having crying kids is normal for most moms who have 3 children under 5. But there are more complex issues we are faced with such as trust, attachment, trying new things constantly, dealing with kids that are very strong-willed (which is expected) and have had little to no discipline their whole lives, huge tantrums for the smallest things or better yet is when they cry in the middle of know where and we have no clue why (grieving of some sort I suspect). Sometimes the kids can't stand to be by us and other times they want to be held and snuggled constantly. It's an emotional roller coaster for all.

All, in all, however, I guess most would say we're doing good (or even great), considering everything. Clint and I do believe this and it is encouraging to us when we can see the whole picture but mostly our eyes see the day-to-day which is so ugly and tough. But hey, we're only one month in. It is clear to us that many things will just take time. We can't force it, train it or create it...it just gets built over time. So for now we're still staying home most days {except for many doctor appointments}, keeping routine, dedicating most of our hours to family time.

Here are a few tidbits of how we're doing....

- Spencer said "up" yesterday and "banana" today in the right context- his first English words that were not merely copying someone.

-Although they rarely talk in English, they understand SO much. We feel it very easy to communicate with them and rarely have issues because of communication barriers. I just feel bad for them because they struggle sometimes to tell us something and they just repeatedly say the word(s) in some form of Amharic that we can't find translation for. English is technically their third language they've been exposed to. If anyone knows what "godjune" or "i-am-o" mean please let us know!

-Both Milion and Tizeta (aka Tizu) are responding well to their American names however, we still use both names 50/50. Although, today when I called Milion Spencer, he shook his hand at me (the way he does when he says "beka" which means enough)- it was quite laughable.

-We are being very intentional with physical exercise and strength building with both kids. Because of lack of opportunities for physical play and being over-weight the kids have zero muscle built up. They are sadly behind with many motor skills. But the good news is that with intentional exercises and intentional active play outside the kids should be doing a lot better in 6 months.

-Violet is loving Clint more and more. All the kids go wild when he comes home from work- it's cute. They all fight for his attention and love.

-We have had 3 official nights where Spencer and Violet have slept through the night- 8pm-7am for Violet and 8pm-8am for Spencer!!!!

-Spencer and Violet are sleeping in our room but not usually in our bed. We will probably keep them in there for quite a while, it seems to work nice.

-Spencer and Violet's palate has expanded tremendously. Violet was a trooper from the get-go but Spencer is just coming around. The kids tried plain walnuts today and they liked them! And Spencer finally likes tomato sauce after a several attempts. Spencer is eating almost all things chunked up and he usually feed himself. Violet is still eating mostly pureed food but I am making it more chunky and she is adjusting. I spoon feed her meals usually. I'm sure getting used to eating cold food, as I am always the last to eat.

-Both Spencer and Violet will take a bottle from us, which we do at least 5 days a week, just in the afternoon with watered down juice for bonding purposes. It's a great time to rock in the rocking chair and make eye-contact.

-Both the kiddos love getting their teeth brushed and taking baths each night

-Both kiddos have parasites and are currently being treated. Some how Clint and I got ring worm too...and there have been many different illnesses going around between the 5 of us ever since we've been home. Can't wait for us all to be healthy and off of medication!

-Spencer can dress himself! And consistently now poops on the toilet (something both of them were doing at the orphanage). Violet has shown no interest in the potty since being home, which is just fine. Maybe I'll attempt potty training them for real, together after Christmas sometime.

-Our doctor also told us that she is confident that Spencer and Violet's birthdays are likely fairly accurate and she wouldn't worry too much about it. Maybe a few months off, if at all, which is reassuring for us. Spencer turns 3 November 17th and Violet will turn 2 on November 14th- and my birthday is the 18th....3 birthdays in 5 days!

-Addie and Spencer played in our fenced back yard by themselves yesterday for 15 minutes with no crying or fighting- YAY progress!

-Meals have been SOOO helpful to us! And a few of you have come to do our dishes or help clean which is super awesome as well! Thank you, thank you! I finally feel able to do some of the housework myself while the kids are awake, which is nice. So then I can utilize nap time for "me" time which is much needed. Or sometimes I still nap with them.

-Both kids love the ergos (most the time) and riding in the stroller. They both enjoy bike rides too but it took Tizu a while. They especially enjoy wearing their helmets. They also like going to the park, which we walk to one by our house often- it's part of Dr ordered exercise plan.

-God is opening our eyes to our sinful hearts. It's so easy to get angry at them for little things...yep I said it. I know most of you see their cute faces on here or in person and think how could they make you upset. But it's hard. And this self-denial thing is a kick in the teeth for me. When you take parenting seriously and are dealing with kids with harsh pasts it's draining and takes constant effort and work. It's humbling to see my sinful heart: my lack of patience, my lack of love, my lack of faith, my lack of gentleness, my lack of kindness, my lack of thankfulness, my lack of joy in Christ alone. I'm a sinner and my children expose this. But it's what I need. And I know God orchestrated Milion and Tizeta to be part of our family, not just any Ethiopian orphans, them. Their specific issues have revealed our specific sins and God will sanctify us along the way. Sadly, I've had many opportunities to apologize to my children this past month because even mommies screw up and have to admit we are wrong!

-sometimes I look at one of the kids and visualize them at the orphanage. It's crazy, they were there just over a month ago with no clue they'd be leaving and no understanding of the changes and opportunities and our love that was coming. They have no idea that we fought our way to them and prayed for them for almost 3 years! We started the process two days before Spencer was born- who knew...God did! It's crazy when I think of it. It seems odd still sometimes...I have two Ethiopian children in my living room calling me "mama", I look back at them and think who, what?! Crazy, strange...great things He has done!

part 2- DATES!

2011-09-16T21:09:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I'm going a little out of order because my hubby is sleeping already (he has been under the weather much lately, which is stinky because tomorrow is our anniversary and I was hoping to have a fun day {doing nothing particularly awesome because we have 3 kids whom we can't get a sittter for but nonetheless hanging out happily rather than sickly would be nice}) and he really wanted to pre-read my post about intimacy/great sex before I go public with it. Which is understandable, however, I'm obviously not going into any formal detail about our private life. So that post will come next week hopefully.

Dates.....ah....I miss dates already and it's only been a month since we stopped dating (had Spencer & Violet). Ok, so a little history...when Clint and I were dating we went on dates all the time- obviously. But it wasn't like we saw each other once a week....we usually saw each other almost daily and we had money (well, more than we have now it seems) so we could go shopping and out to eat a lot! This continued into our early years of our marriage. One year we even had a goal to try every restaurant in Maple Grove without repeating! Clint and I were (are) best friends, we share(d) all our hobbies together and had lots of time together (because we had no kids).

Then, Addie came. Then Clint lost his job (first of several). So, when you add stress, child and no job (aka lack of money) into the mix this equals= no dates. Stress, children/pregnancies and job losses (aka lack of money) seemed to be our life story for over 3 years. So, needless to say we had very few dates (alone without Addie) over the past few years. Our main time out of the house together was going to our Small Group Bible Study 2-3 times a month, which is hardly a date.

At some point last fall we had several conversations about our marriage. Clint felt our marriage could be better (not that it was horrible) but we fought more than we wanted and Clint wanted it to change. I was actually sort of content with how it was, probably because I was too distracted by my grief of our long adoption process. And I figured after all we had been through over the past 3 years, isn't this constant bickering to be expected, even in good marriages?! Well, Clint wasn't content with "good enough" so he kept pursuing ideas to making our marriage "truly, madly, deeply, lovey-dovey". Which I'm glad he did- and it wasn't till late winter 2011 that we actually started dating again- WEEKLY!

After a month of dating weekly we had our ah-ha moment! This was pivotal to our marriage health and true love for one another! We were hooked and we made every effort to find a sitter for Addie. Speaking of sitter, this was actually our biggest hang-up to not dating. We couldn't afford a sitter. Back when we lived near family it was easy to get sitters for free or cheap. But now that we lived in the city and didn't have many friends close by it seemed much more challenging, literally and financially.

Thankfully, we met some new friends who wanted to start dating again too. They happened to live less than 2 miles from us. They were interested in doing a childcare-date swap with us. No charge! This was our perfect solution. They did the majority of watching Addie, some weeks though other friends offered to take Addie or family would be available. I would highly suggest finding a date-swap family if money/baby sitter is your biggest thing holding you back from dating!

So we dated, almost weekly up till the week before we left for Ethiopia in mid-August. Most dates were simple. Sometimes we went out to eat. We love eating out! Don't let finances keep you from eating out on occasion. We often go out to eat for cheap at nicer restaurants. We often don't get appetizers, drinks (pop included) or dessert. Many times we share a large meal. But to our credit, we do always tip very well. But we can easily eat at PF Chang for under $30. Or our favorite place is Chipotle and we can eat there for $15.

Many times we did not go out to eat. We just went to Caribou and got drinks and maybe a scone or something, all for under $10. Or go to Chipotle just for chips & salsa. You could even do free dates, by planning a picnic or something.

Many times out dates involved running errands (aka Trader Joe's, Sam's Club, Target), which seems silly, because we could easily do this with Addie in tow but it wasn't so much as what we did but simply spending alone time together that was so unnoticeably special.

Clint and I LOVE to window-shop. And we ARE good at doing it while not actually making frivolous purchases. We love to go to Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, Pottery Barn Kids, IKEA, or peruse the GAP clearance rack. We'd get design ideas for our house and that would often be the focus of our conversation along with parenting, finances, our social schedule, etc. There is always plenty to talk about...although some times we'd have quiet dates, that were not over-saturated with conversation yet we were not necessarily crabby or unhappy with each other. And those were fun too. Sometimes we talk so much at home that there didn't seem like a reason to go on date. But like I said, dates were not just to talk about important issues, it was time just to be together: to flirt, to pretend we have no kids or worries, to hold hands, to kiss or hug in public!

Now however, dates have come to screeching hault and it's SO disappointing! So far this past month our only goal has been to survive and we have done that. So dates haven't been on our radar much. But soon, we need to be more intentional about creating date-nights IN because we have decided to not allow Spencer & Violet to be babysat for at least 6 months. Or, I thought, once they're sleeping better and not waking up at all, we might be able to sneak out of the house (with a sitter at our home while they sleep) for a few hours, since they are down for bed by 8pm.

Most nights Clint and I have time together without the kids for 1-2 hours. However, our nights hardly look like a date! Sometimes we're on the internet for fun or for dutiful research or whatever, sometimes we read or clean up or fold laundry. Sometimes we half-fall asleep on the couch wondering why we didn't just go to bed with the kids. Sometimes we do have meaningful, important and light-hearted talks. Sometimes I shower, if I haven't had one in 2-3 days. Sometimes one us goes to run errands, which is really an excuse to leave the house to get a McFlurry or some other type of ice cream indulgence- this is sort of date-ish, however this terrible habit has to stop- it's catching up with me! Either way, our nights don't seem date worthy.

Here are some of my ideas for date nights IN that I hope to try out this fall:

- have a campfire in the back yard together

- order food in- delivery at 8:15pm- hey even pizza will work

- have a candle-light dessert together

- play board games together (we used to do this all the time pre-Addie days)

- rent a movie (via Netflix) and make some popcorn and snuggle together on the couch

- spoon on the couch and listen to music in the dark- it could lead to something more or not

- play dance music and slow dance (or fast dance) together in our living room-HA!

- read a book out-loud together- once chapter a night and talk about it after

So, the point of dates is that there IS something "magical" about them that promotes romance, love and glue to your marriage. There was never a single date that seemed out-of-this world amazing or bonding, but a habit of frequently dating is a healthy diet for marriage to live on and will promote oneness in your marriage over time. There were many times where we wondered if a date was really necessary, it didn't always feel like we "needed" one each week. But over time, we noticed our marriage getting better and our love for each other growing deeper, so it seemed to be doing some hidden work, though we couldn't actually pinpoint each particular date night.

After a while we started to really look forward to our time together, we almost felt giddy again- like were really falling-IN LOVE with each other all-over. It helped us to forget about all the house work, financial stress, our children and allowed us to focus on ourselves as a couple. Though it's hard to remember our dating days or pre-kid days, there was a point when our relationship solely feasted on dating and now it primarily feasts on responsibilities- that is why taking time for dates (whether in or out of your home) are so crucial!

If you're not dating your spouse- make it happen! Whether you're one year in, ten or twenty-five. It will be a breath of fresh air to your marriage and over time will help renew the sense of love that you're craving to feel in your marriage. We highly recommend it! And, no excuses- if you're strapped for money or just had a baby and getting out is not an option, there are many creative ideas to making dates a priority while staying at home.

part 1: good communication

2011-09-15T14:31:00.000-05:00

Communication has always been a strength of ours however, that doesn't mean there isn't room to grow. If anything it's possible we communicate too much! We are best friends and tell each other everything (well almost- sometimes private prayer requests of others' are not shared). But we are ONE and so, most often what you share to me, Clint will hear part of it and vice-versa. We share our longings, dreams, hurts, fears, ideas, goals, opinions on just about everything with open abandon.

We talk through our days to each other and recount events to each other if one of us wasn't present. We talk by phone and email each other. We take time most every night to chat at dinner or after dinner or after the kid(s) are in bed. If we can't get good chat time in away from children, we do it with children present but are more cautious of what is shared or spell out words or use code words to keep Addie from totally hearing everything. Or sometimes just before or after dinner (pre-M & T days- but hopefully will resume again some day) we would ask Addie to leave the kitchen so "mom and dad can have some alone time". This was a great time to debrief about our days, catch Clint up to speed with discipline that took place that day, tonight's expectations or goal projects, etc.

Here a some components of good communication-

1) no secrets/being completely honest

Well, being honest is almost always a good thing and frankly, sometimes the truth does hurt. But if you can't hear the truth from your spouse then who would you possibly listen to? But be cautious on how much truth to dish out at once or how much to reiterate the issue. There is a way to be honest in a tactful, respectful, loving way and there are ways to be honest in nasty, rude and hurtful ways. There should be little to nothing left secret between a husband and a wife- emotionally, financially, spiritually, sexually, intellectually. Secrets are like worms that can eat away at your marriage. Confess sin to each other. Express lofty, unlikely dreams to each other. Talk about the day-to-day mundane details and thoughts. Hash out some arguments immediately or bitterness will take hold. It will all bring you together.

2) ask good questions

If you don't understand each other.....ASK! Need clarification, maybe you don't want to know the full answer but ask anyways. If you have a hard time finding things to talk about with your spouse- ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. And if a yes or no answer comes- ask "can you tell me more" or "can you explain yourself better". We are 10 years into our relationship (7 years of marriage) and we are still learning about each other- why- because we are constantly growing and changing so there are always new things to learn about each other. Get to know your spouse- don't just be live-in house mates. Date them emotionally through casual and purposeful conversations. Be interested and find out what's on their minds!

3) communicate clear expectation & needs when necessary

Your spouse can't read you like a book all of the time. And like I said earlier, we are changing all the time, so our needs and expectations change- so don't forget to communicate that. On a side note- try to have as little of expectations as possible, but it's hard to get rid of them completely, right? If you need more back rubs in to get you "in the mood"- tell him! He won't magically figure it out silly! Don't waste time being bitter every time you are intimate because he didn't think to give you a massage first! Don't assume your spouses' next move or assume they can read your mind. Ask for HELP! Don't wait for them to jump in just because you're tired, frustrated or over-whelmed. Be straight-forward and clear. You might want to say please, thank you and a good toneof voice as well.

4) use "I" statements when change is needed, concern is expressed or in the middle of a disagreement

Clint and I have disagreements fairly regularly but blow-up/raised-voice fights are few. However, we usually hold little back when it comes to confrontation. We are honest and let it out. We try to be fair and not over-exaggerate but we do bring issues to the floor immediately. We don't harbor bitterness in being quiet otherwise evil thoughts about each other will over-take our love for each other. Both of us are bad at hiding our feelings so it's usually obvious to the other spouse when an issue has arrived or an offense has occurred. Using "I" statements is crucial. Saying "I feel hurt when my cooking skills are critiqued " is way better than "YOU are such a jerk- YOU ALWAYS complain about what I make for supper!" When you talk about how you were hurt or offended verses how they were the jerk or nag it allows your spouse to hear you out without jumping to defend themselves first.

5) be willing to say "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" and actually do it.

We hate festering wounds so apologies and full reconciliation must follow any argument big or small promptly. Be slow to take offense and don't let hateful anger reside in your soul. Say "I'm sorry" as soon as possible, even if you're not the "main" person at fault. It takes two people to be offended and two sinful people to argue, so in most cases, apologies are due from both ends. If at all possible don't let the sun go down on your anger. Saying "I forgive you" releases the pain from taking root and hold you accountable to end the breach in love between you and your spouse. We can forgive because we know Christ has forgiven us AND Christ died for your spouses' current sin, so how much more must you let it go? Even seeking out the angry spouse with a long, tight squeeze of a hug and saying "hey, let's forgive each other now and not let this ruin out day" is a great start to reconciliation. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt- ultimately you know they love you and have your good in mind- in most cases.

6) use your words to express love, respect and appreciation for one another

Being thankful for your spouse goes along way! Whether you always feel deep gratitude for your spouse or not, express it. Sometimes expressing it can be the first step to believing it. What kinds of thoughts you dwell on during the day will also be indicated in your speech to your spouse. If negativity or down-right hateful or rude thoughts come to mind- nip them in the bud and start making a list of good things about your spouse. Show respect, ask your husband's opinion on little things. Seek his advise for things that involve your home or children or even small purchases that probably don't matter. He is your Leader and you ought to treat him as such. Be thankful and say so, when he does the dishes or bathes the kiddos or when she does all your laundry or cleans your toothpaste leftovers in the bathroom sink. Even though her hair in clogging the shower drain and his work boots left a pile of dirt on your rug, be thankful for your spouse and show it!

7) be silly and laugh, have light-hearted, poke-fun type of speech

Be sarcastic when appropriate. Laugh together when all 3 kids are screaming and you want to go bonkers. Laugh when you're caught by your child in the middle of being intimate. Flirt with each other. Call each other sweety, sweetheart, lover, honey-pie, etc.

8) Say "I love you" often

Say "I Love you" all the time- after every phone call or email or when you leave the house and before going to bed- even if you're upset with one another. If you can't muster the words to say it at that given moment then maybe it's time to hash out some thing now before you say good-bye or good-night. If you can't say "I love you" right now to your spouse than obviously you're bitter about something and bitter spells pride which leads to divorce when left untreated and divorce is not an option, so work out your soul with the Lord then your spouse so you can whole-heartily say "I love you".

be thou my vision

2011-09-14T14:06:00.003-05:00

I may not have time to get into the Word as much as I'd like.

I may not have clear enough thoughts to mumble the prayers I need.

But I have been given sight...extra-ordinary sight, able to see all the hidden graces the Lord orchestrates in these days.

His Grace is abundant in the midst of hard, long, boring, mundane, unproductive, repetitive, sacrificial, crazy, busy days.

Feeling blessed because He has allowed me to see, so clearly the little graces that are every where, but we only notice these things when our eyes are open & our hearts are willing to give him his due credit for his finite work.

We cannot see in our own strength, oh no, but once HE has opened our lids, our vision is clear and we can visually focus in on what's really happening here in this chaos.

Grateful for Grace... it is sufficient for today.

dedicated to the Lord-

2011-09-14T14:02:00.004-05:00

Parental Promises at Child Dedication

Do you recognize these children as the gifts of God and give heartfelt thanks for God’s blessing?
Do you now dedicate your children to the Lord who gave them to you, surrendering all worldly claims upon their lives in the hope that they will belong wholly to Jesus Christ?
Do you pledge as parents that, with God’s fatherly help, you will bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, making every reasonable effort, with patience and love, to build the Word of God, the character of Christ and the joy of the Lord into their lives?
Do you promise to provide, through God’s blessing, for the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of your children, looking to your own heavenly Father for the wisdom, love and strength to serve them and not use them?
Do you promise, God helping you, to make it your regular prayer that by God’s grace your children will come to trust in Jesus Christ alone for the forgiveness of their sins and for the fulfillment of all his promises to them, even eternal life; and in this faith follow Jesus as Lord and obey his teachings?

Words of Dedication

“Together with your parents who love you dearly, and this people who care about the outcome of your faith, I dedicate you to God, surrendering together with them all worldly claim upon your life in the hope that you will belong wholly to Jesus Christ, forever.”

i second that...jen hatmaker

2011-09-08T14:36:00.003-05:00

I was going to write more about my crazy post-adoption life but then I was referred to this blog post by several friends {see below}. I actually think this husband was on our fight home from Ethiopia to Amsterdam- crazy. Anyways....this women (the wife) is a professional writer and pretty much summed up my exact life in her post. So, instead of trying to recreate a not as awesome post, I'll send you to her blog. Please read it- it's good and highlights some very real situations we are in and some emotions we've experienced. Glad to know there are people who "get it" and have been there or are currently walking in the muck with us right now! This isn't all peaches & roses people!

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport

my little helper

2011-09-08T14:23:00.002-05:00

Addie did the dishes all by herself this morning for the first time! She is did awesome! I was so impressed I'll let her do them again tomorrow morning! HA! She earned 2 stickers on her chore chart for this- which made her super happy! If she does 4 chores a day for 25 days she is going to earn a Pillow Pet. Honestly, I hate the ugly Pillow Pets but she really wants one so I thought this would be a good way to initiate the chore chart. Then at the end of the month she can have pride & joy when she uses her earned money to purchase her Pillow Pet.

She ad been such a help around the house these past few weeks. She has cleaned up toys without being asked (while we were putting the other two down for bed) several times! I explained to her that after this Pillow Pet deal, she will not always make money for her chores. Some times she'll get a small amount of money and sometimes she will just do chores because she is part of a family and is capable of pulling her weight around her- plus it's a joy to help and work together for the betterment of the family- right? I told her I don't get paid to wash the dishes or fold the laundry or wipe poop butts all day long....

... Speaking of poop butts, I am busy doing stool samples today- fun fun! Apparently the poo has to be refrigerated- yuck. I had to double zip block it and put in an opaque bag because I almost puked while pulling out left overs for lunch. Seeing poo in your fridge next to your left-overs is not a normal sight!

welcome to our house

2011-08-31T21:33:00.002-05:00

Random thoughts and facts of the week thus far:

-daily baths are now part of our bedtime routine, our children are dirty and sweaty!

-Milion sweats like non-other- it's incredible really. So gross. He lives in those white, thin, ribbed tanks (as seen above) all day. Never knew a 2 year old could have BO so bad. I need to purchase a waterproof pillow cover because he is soaked along with his bed and pillow after every nap. I pretty much change his bedding daily which is quite the predicament because I'm running out of bedding/pillow cases because I never do laundry.

-are email thank yous tacky? Well, I hope not because that's about all I can handle right now and it saves stamp money

-seriously, I should show you the pile of dishes overtaking my counter right now and guess what, I'm not going to do them tonight either! It's been growing since breakfast.

-I got away the other day for two hours of splendid grocery shopping and it was marvelous! Driving with the windows down, with good tunes on the radio and being by myself never felt so good! I even splurged for a cherry coke at Sam's club! Too bad I don't drink coffee.

-is it possible that I ever thought this adoption thing would be easy? No, I would have never thought that......who was I kidding....adoption is never easy! silly me!

-Spent 2+ hours on the phone getting health insurance lined up for the kiddos. They tried denying M & T because they don't have social security numbers yet. In the end I found out that was illegal and told them so, then they complied.

-therefore because the above issue got squared away, kids went to Dr. today and 3 of the 5 of us are now on Amoxicillin. Clint is the third member as he has a horrible ear infection too- he's in quite a bit of pain and now has more sympathy for M & T.

-having kids that fall asleep in 2 minutes and stay sleeping for the whole night now seems like a distant memory..... upping the anty with the Melatonin! From 8-9:30pm Clint and I are putting children to bed.

-this week we started staying up past 9pm just so we can sit quietly together on the couch and enjoy the silence.

-Clint's first day back to work was today (well, a half day that was). He starts back full days tomorrow- yikes! Despite being alone today went really well, I might actually deem it the best day in two weeks (less discipline- aka- less biting and hitting and sass which leads to less tears mixed with much grace).

-Um...did I say it's hard to love sassy, compulsively crying, stubbornly sinful and emotionally damaged toddlers? Well it is. It's a lot easier to fall in love with a picture! Apparently God has to grow love into my heart just as well into theirs. Who knew? ; )

-my food processor is my new best friend. Mainly M & T only eat pureed food. Their palate is slowly expanding however, M is till WAY more picky that T. Lots of brown rice, black beans and chicken. Snacks include cheerios & bananas. I honestly think if we let them, they would live on cheerios and bananas.

-Clint and I have enjoyed ice cream respite twice this past week! Trying to wean from comfort food and lean more fully on the Lord.

-M & T LOVE riding in the van. So I can guarantee I will be going for a long drive to no-where if I feel over-taken by insanity these next two days while Clint leaves me alone (to go to work). Which, it's worth mentioning...I never saw Clint SO happy to go to work as I did today- albeit I never saw him so happy to return to us this afternoon!

-I am starting to come out of the tired fog I've been in, which is awesome. Although I still feel completely unable to keep up with the house-dishes, laundry, floors, toys, bathroom, etc. There for Clint and I have lowered our standards and are content with a way less than meticulously clean house. I will note we did implement paper plates today!

let's make a deal

2011-08-26T21:00:00.002-05:00

For sale- 3 children for the price of 2- only $35,000- such a deal....any takers?

Ok, so I'm totally kidding, it was actually Clint's clever idea of a blog post. His other idea was to take a picture of the three kids crying simultaneously and title it-80% of my day looks like...THIS. By the way...as I stood Milion up to wash his privates he started peeing in the bathtub water...who knows how many times he did it under the water. Geepers. Clint also got peed on tonight during a diaper change....seriously....I thought only infant boys did that?!?!

Ok, in all seriousness our life is completely bonkers. Clint and I have never felt so tired! Our lights are rarely on past 9pm! Though we are grateful that all 4 of us have had very little sign of Jet Lag- PRAISE THE LORD! He must have known we couldn't handle it this time around.

Today we both felt completely zoned-out, like numb, like it's finally sinking in that this, THIS, is what we prayed for for three long years. Crazy.

We do laugh a lot which is very therapeutic.

I think the main hard thing is just getting used to 3 kids, aside from all the adoption drama. Each one of the kids is great by themselves but put them together and it's crazy!

The first few days there was a lot of hitting, biting, kicking, screaming, tantrums, crying, etc but thankfully it's lessening a bit. Addie is often the lucky recipient of these acts of "love". She has had a rude awakening to having siblings and was quietly shocked for a few days. We are finally seeing her come around to her normal self and she is holding up pretty well considering. Thankfully she rarely fights eye for an eye although, Milion could take her down any day...he's got her by a few pounds even though he's half her height.

Clint is AH-mazing....I think I've mentioned that before. He is still doing so awesome. He holds himself so composed on the outside even though he admitted to me that this has been the hardest two weeks of his life thus far. I am happy to report that our marriage is surviving these crazy days. I don't know what I'm going to do when Clint goes back to work next week- yikes!

Our house is a wreck, there is a heap of dishes on the counter, the toys are scattered in the back yard, the bath tub still has dirt smudged on the edges, there is laundry to be done and it's 9:15 and I can't find the energy to brush my teeth. Clint is currently passed out in Addie's bed, which is where I napped this afternoon. However, I proudly got our dining room table cleared off today AND unpacked the last of our 6 suitcases! I also managed to flip through a Pottery Barn catalog {albeit getting interrupted at least 10 times} this evening while the kids played on the swing set if you can imagine that! We're going through at least once Kleenex box a day {constant runny noses} and by the way M & T's poop smells like moth balls.

We are drained- in every sense of the word... emotionally, physically, spiritually. Please pray for us....I feel like we don't even have time to pray....isn't that pathetic. Obviously we do, but it's been hard to "have time"to even consider praying, let alone doing it. Every day just blends together. And when we finally catch our breath once everyone is in bed, we go to sleep ourselves and wake to doing it all over again...our life is on repeat. We relive the exact same day it seems all week.

Ok, that's enough, this blog post is getting long winded. I need to get to bed and wake Clint so he can join me. So much more to say, but hopefully this gives you a real and yet light-hearted feel for our new life....we're still trying to come to grips with it all. But God's grace is evident in that we have a good attitude most of the time. It's crazy....yes.....beautiful.....sometimes......tough...absolutely..........but it's out life and we are thankful. And God is in it all. oh, so much more to come.

Oh, and thanks to all those who have brought meals thus far...it's so awesomely helpful! If you're wanting to help, meals are the ticket {I know a few of you have asked}! Ok, enough with my Minnesota good-bye. So long, fare well.......

we are home: our new family united

2011-08-22T22:25:00.003-05:00

We made it. The travel home was hard, long and dramatic. I'll spare most the details of our 27 hour excursion. Milion slept almost the whole time both flights- score. Unfortunately Clint, Tizeta and I did not sleep hardly at all. Even though there were some stressful, frustrating moments we also saw God's grace with some little things. But now it's behind us and I can forget about it...just like labor. None of us are experiencing any major signs of jet leg which is AMAZING- God's grace! So glad to be on our home turf now. However, now the real "fun" has begun. Lots of fighting, biting, pinching, hitting, screaming crying going on here! Our house just got 10 times louder and crazier. Yeah...I'm still adjusting to that. Addie is still adjusting too...she's in shock really. I don't think she expected all the drama but she is doing ok. Clint and I are intentional about giving her some special attention and snuggle time throughout the day. M & T really like Addie ,they both call her by name which is so sweet. Meal time is especially difficult and chaotic. Clint has really stepped up to the plate this past week- I'm in awe of him really. It's been a rough week and never have I seen him angry or frustrated or discouraged....and believe me- we have every reason to feel that way- I HAVE felt that way. But Clint is strong and I know his strength is from the Lord. I am SO glad he is home from work this week I couldn't do this without him! Please continue to pray for us because even though things are going "well"- well isn't defined as easy. It's very hard, but things are going well considering all that is taking place. Ok, time for bed! Everyone else is sleeping already. More to be said later.

Goodnight-

love,

Amanda

P.S.- Yes, we are keeping their American names....it just might take us longer than expected to shift over.....so we call them several names......Spencer, Spence, Millie, Milion & Vi, Violet, Tizi, Tizoo, Tizeta, etc.

day 4

2011-08-20T04:04:00.004-05:00

Well, so far day four has been the hardest and it's only noon. Milion and Tizeta are napping early today (now). There hasn't been more than 5 minutes where one of them isn't crying. Things might be starting to sink in for them. Can't imagine what they'll be like at the airport or on the plane. It's going to be over-stimulating and scary I'm sure. When we road in a van (to embassy) Milion was pretty afraid which manifests in him being very quiet, hopefully that is how he'll react on the plane. Clint and I got some good sleep last night, so that is helpful. We are on active duty every waking moment but the nights are good. It's so different for Kopps who have an easy going baby but have hard nights because he wakes up constantly to feed. Interesting to assess the difference. So glad we're here with them. Thankfully Clint and I are staying calm and feel full of grace towards them most of the time. Please pray for our plane trip!

Day 2/3

2011-08-19T03:39:00.003-05:00

(Picture of us 4 on the balcony off our room at Ethiopia Guest House)

Embassy went well, except it caused the kiddos to not have their afternoon naps which was a huge bummer! They were pretty crabby the rest of the evening but went to bed early and quickly. Yesterday and today have been a bit harder than day 1 which is what we expected. Milion and Tizeta are sleeping well, but we are not. We are absolutely pooped out and emotionally drained. We are SO ready to be home- even though we're not looking forward to the plane ride. We've seen a lot of toy-fighting, hitting, crying and full-out tantrums (falling to the floor kicking and screaming). It's hard, but still going well considering it all. We have seen some progress too and some affection.

Milion is so LOUD and energetic!! He will keep me busy! He is curious and on the go at all times!! He loves to sing (in Amharic) and is always looking out for his sister-so precious. Milion can only fit into stretchy pants. He needs size 4 waste line with size 18 month length.

Both of them have terribly huge bellies, which will hopefully go away over time. They clearly were over-fed and lived on a carb diet for too long. They appear healthy since they're not skin and bones but really, a carb diet is not healthy at all. It's possible they have parasites or worms as well which could contribute to the disproportional bellies as well.

Tizeta is wanting to be held more (which is good) and still pretty smiley but often throws huge fits when we doesn't get her way and tries to manipulate us with her charm and beauty and it's not working so well.

We are still warming up to the idea of changing poopy diapers again! Thankfully they both know how to poop on the toilet and Milion has done so a couple times for us.

We are praising God for his mercies (that are new every morning) but Clint and I are still acclimating to our new life! It's a bit overwhelming at times but we find encouragement in the gospel and God's promises. We also have mutual counsel with our friends the Kopps as we coach each other through this crazy week-such a blessing. We are determined to love them as we work through many issues in the coming months. It's seems easy to allow fear to take over but our hope in Christ gives us motivation to persevere one day at a time.

God's Grace Abounds

2011-08-17T22:13:00.007-05:00

Our first day and night went great! So much better than we expected! Milion is so different from when we last saw him. We are now seeing his energetic and fun personality. He is a busy boy to the max! Tizeta is very sweet and smiley! She seems to know how cute she is! Milion is so loving towards Tizeta and calls her by name. He is also calling me "mama" and Clint "ababa" which is "daddy" in Amharic! So sweet. He already says "I love you" too, even though he probably doesn't understand what it means. He is repeating many words we say...it's fun. The napped well for us first thing when we got back to our guest house and they are eating well too. They play pretty good together and affectionate towards us. We're getting in lots of fun time and snuggles and starting to set boundaries and small forms a discipline already too. We also started them on vitamins, supplements and essential oils. They both just woke up and slept the whole night! We feel really blessed and feel so encouraged by our time with them so far. Right now we're just calling them by their Ethiopian names. Clint is second guessing if we want to use Spencer and Violet as their first names ever. We'll see. God is so faithful. We are so blown away by how good it's been. But we'll see how the next three days go. At some point they will grieve....and we're not sure when and how that will manifest itself- hopefully not on the plane! We have our embassy appointment today. We've been blessed by our time with the Kopps- so awesome to have travel buddies! We also met the Dekkers from Iowa yesterday too, that was fun. Thanks for the prayers!

Dear Family & Friends,

2011-08-14T07:17:00.002-05:00

As most of you know the time is quickly approaching for us to travel to Ethiopia to bring our Spencer & Violet home! We are so excited and glad the time has finally come! We want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your love, support, encouragement, financial help, friendship and prayers over the past 3 years! It’s been a long, hard journey however, the real challenge is probably still ahead of us {raising these two little ones}!

As we look forward to introducing you to our son and daughter we want to take time to explain to you what our family life will look like in the coming months. We have been required and encouraged to educate ourselves through different books and articles on adoption and attachment issues. We have also been part of an Ethiopian Adoption Support Group which includes several families who have adopted already and it’s been to our advantage to watch them and learn from their hard times these past few years! What a blessing to have others who can support us and encourage us during this tough transition time, especially those who have walked this road before us! We realize that every child is different and each family situation is unique so we really don’t know what we’re getting into till we are home for a while and can assess better where our children are at emotionally, physically and mentally.

Adopting is very different than having a biological child! Especially bringing home toddlers or older children! Many things you may see us do with these children may not make sense - we would like to ask you to have a lot of grace with us and to trust that we're seeking to honor the Lord in caring for these children and trying to foster their attachment. Securing a good attachment with Spencer & Violet in the first years they are home will be crucial to their future! And we also recognize that we can do all the “right” things to foster good attachment but only the Lord can really make up for the years we missed out. And we are confident the Lord has called us to this ministry whether it goes exceptionally well or terribly difficult!

Though this is an exciting season for us it will likely be a hard season! We are determined to make our family of 5 our only priority! We're not sure how long this will take, it may last weeks, months or even longer depending on the signs of progress our children are showing with bonding and attaching to Clint and I. What we do know is that we need to be the only source of their needs: physically {diapering, feeding food, and bathing} and emotionally {cuddling, comforting when sad or stressed, kissing, and eye to eye contact}. I know this will be really hard for many of you, especially as you've grown to love them so much as you've prayed for them. We promise as soon as we see signs of attachment, we'll let you love them to pieces!

So, let me explain practically what this will look like and how you can play an important role in the helping us create a loving attachment to our children. First of all you might notice that we might “fall off the radar” for a while. You may not see us very often at church, gatherings or play groups. We might not return phone calls, emails or update our blog as quickly or as regularly as we do now. We might have to opt to stay home, even if it means missing what seems to be an important family gathering that we would normally attend. If we do go out, it might be for short stints to start. Or we will likely prefer to host people at our home verses going to a new home our children have never been before.

Secondly, when we do venture out we will often have both Spencer & Violet in baby carriers. This helps to foster closeness but also “protects” them from getting over-whelmed with new environments that could potentially be over-stimulating. This also keeps others from holding them or touching them a lot. I know this will be tough at first, especially for grandparents and close family members but we promise you, it will only last for a season and it’s for their best.

Another way this will play out is for you to re-direct Spencer and Violet to Clint and I. If they come to you and want you to read them a book, point them to one of us and say “your mommy wants to read you a book”. Or if one of them is super smiley or “flirty” with you try not to play back and encourage them to go to Clint or I. If they fall down and get an owie and come to you for comfort, direct them towards Clint and say “daddy with help your owie”. They will try to get their needs met by anyone who is willing, so until they realize Clint and I are different from everyone else we need to meet their needs exclusively. We have to set up these safe boundaries for them till the can figure out how to make them for themselves. We know this is against your normal instincts and so different from how we’ve dealt with Addie or most normal biologically born children. That is why we are sending this out in advance so you know our expectations and know how you can help us when we’re together. It's easy to think that the children are adapting so well when you see them happy with strangers, smiling and getting other's attention. But at this point, those things would actually still be signs they have not figured out who we are, as their mom and dad. In their short lives, they've had many care givers. They will likely see us as simply another set of care givers for quite awhile. But we're trusting over time, they'll come to understand what it means that we are Mommy and Daddy to them and Addie is big sister to them.

The story of how Spencer & Violet were placed for adoption and what happened to their birth families are private and personal. We've decided not to share that information at this point in time. This is sacred information to an adopted child and we want to be sensitive to them and make sure they learn their own story in the proper time and in the proper context. The only way to ensure that happens is to protect Spencer & Violet’s story.

We realize this makes for a difficult situation. Even Addie will eventually be curious about their story, but we don’t want her to know the stories before they do. And for now she is content in thinking it’s totally normal to have brown skinned adopted siblings, so we’ll leave it at that. She hasn't quite pieced the whole thing together yet.

This is all about protecting Spencer & Violet and helping them to understand and appreciate their story. And it won’t be easy. More than likely we’ll end up telling them bits and pieces or generalized versions of the story as they’re old enough, and then it will be up to them whether or not either of them wants to share those pieces of the story with you. If they ever ask you questions that you can’t answer, simply tell them to ask Clint or I.

We hope you’ll understand our reasoning and give us grace as we try to sort out what we can share, with who, when.

In closing, if you have any questions feel free to ask and we will do our best to answer. Remember all of this is super new to us too and we'll probably make a lot of mistakes. But we thank you so much for praying with us through it and for the grace you'll extend to us along the way! We love you all and can't wait for you to meet our newest children!

love,

Amanda & Clint

A few specific prayer requests while we are gone-

1) Healing and strength for Amanda's ankle- (I sprained it a week ago and I'm still limping a bit)

2) Being away from Addie, that all goes well- it's hard to leave a child!! I tear up already just thinking of it! Praise the Lord that soon our children will all live in the same continent and under the same roof!

3) LOGISTICS- Endurance for Clint and I once we have the children in our possession and that the our time in Ethiopia with just Spencer & Violet would "go well". We've heard about and seen first hand (on our last trip in March) some harsh situations! We're "prepared" for no sleep, crying, kicking, screaming, pooping, puking, lice, tantrums, difficulty with eating and the like!

4)For grace for traveling 24 hours of flights with two kids who've likely only been in a car once in their lives! We pray we are not the family whom everyone dreads sitting next to....or being in the same plane with.....yeah...that will be us most likely! ; )

5) That our Embassy apt would go well.

6)TRANSITION- For Addie especially, though she is SUPER excited for us to bring Spencer and Violet home, it's going to be a rude awakening for her! She doesn't really understand what's about to happen! Prayer for all of us regarding transition! Thankfully Clint will be able to stay home for a week after we return before he slowly transitions back to work.

7) That we seize opportunities on this trip , while traveling and in coming months (& forever) to give an answer for the hope we have and the motive that drew us to do this crazy adoption! Many people peg us as "good people" for adopting but this is so much more and we want to deflect the glory to the one who called us to this journey. The kindness of my heart or my desire for more children was not enough to sustain me during my agony these past 3 years- only though HIS work in our lives were we able to push through to the end and yet... it's only the beginning! Mostly we want to share about the greatest adoption story- the Gospel!

Praise- We are so thankful that the Kopp family from California will be traveling with us (flights and all)! We learned last trip that it's such a blessing to have traveling buddies, especially in-country to share this crazy experience with! Please also pray for the Roberts, Americans living in Kenya, whom were "supposed" to travel with us as well but are still experiencing problems at embassy!

HE did it!

2011-08-10T05:49:00.003-05:00

UNBELIEVABLE! It's a miracle! Crying and praising the Lord this early morning! Couldn't sleep so laid in bed and prayed.

We got confirmation for our embassy appointment and they cleared Violet to come home at the same time!!!!

I am in shock! This is CRAZY, AMAZING, EXCITING! God is good to us! He did it! They're coming home in a little over a week! Clint and I can travel together! Booking tickets today- a little nervous but HE will work it out! Thank you, thank you for all the prayers! Please keep praying for the Kopps to be able to travel with us and the Roberts family as well! They are both waiting to hear from embassy still. The fact that Violet's police letter was accepted gives hope that Josiah Kopp's police letter will be accepted to, now hopefully it happens this week so we can travel together! What a mighty God we serve! He is good, even to me, ye of little faith!

JUMPING for JOY

2011-08-09T14:30:00.003-05:00

We got "the email" from the embassy this morning at 8:40am! I had already written it off by 8:15 and assumed we weren't going to hear. {Their day time is our night time, so Clint and I are checking our email a couple times a night the past week.} But at the end of their Ethiopian business day we got it! The embassy only gave us the green light for Spencer, but Violet's paperwork is only a few days behind his so we emailed the embassy back to see if they could give us some more information about her case {so we know if we should book tickets for both Clint and I or just me}. The biggest factor is IF they'll accept the new police letter of Violet's. We requested an embassy appointment next week but are waiting to hear confirmation on that, which we should know by tomorrow. Please pray that we'll hear either way about Violet's case tomorrow. It would be so helpful to know! Pray we trust in HIM to bring all these details together as we could be leaving as soon as 5 days {especially tickets and our finances in all this- tickets are way more spendy than March, especially last minute and we're praying we can travel with the Kopps, who are waiting patiently to hear from embassy}! CRAZY! We are super happy and excited however, I feel really calm and normal about it all! Maybe I'm in shock?!?! ; ) This is really the end of our family of 3!

presenting today's theme song

2011-08-05T18:48:00.003-05:00

I can't figure out what my deal is today but I am just down and unmotivated and lacking any emotions. Working slowly all day and evening at 6 loads of laundry and cleaning the house. It feels like pulling teeth to do anything today; I get side-tacked and have to take breaks every few minutes! I used to think I was a meticulous neat freak but to be honest my house is dirty and messy more often than it's clean these days! To prove my point as Clint walked in the door from work he said a sarcastically truthful comment "WOW, the house is clean!!!...what, is that like the second time since we've lived here?!" No offence taken, it's almost true. I sent Addie and Clint to get me some Chipotle chips and Dove dark chocolate bars for supper! ; ) Jamming to this song tonight.

risk of daydream

2011-08-04T15:19:00.002-05:00

3 years ago today I was induced and delivered our second son, third child, Calvin John.

It's difficult to think back to the day we received the bad news.

It's horrifying to recount the utter shock effect.

It's traumatic to relive the long, dramatic delivery.

I can remember it like yesterday, really, when I allow myself to remember.

But the hardest part is if I allow myself to daydream.

It's emotionally risky to think of what might have been.

What would it be like to have a 3-year-old son right now?

How would that have effected who I am, who Clint is, who Addie is today?

How would my daily life be different as a mother of two?

What would our son look like; spitting image of Addie or totally different?

What would it sound like to hear my son call for me?

What would it feel like to snuggle him in my arms after he wakes from a long nap?

It's so risky that I don't allow my self to stay in dreamland very long.

Because life is now and the reality is that though I carried our living son in my womb for a time he is not here today.

The good news however, is that the Gospel allows me to ponder what life is like for our son(s) in Heaven.

The Gospel helps me to grieve with hope, even 3 years later.

The Gospel frees me to rejoice with those who are pregnant, even when I too have a longing.

The Gospel guides me when I'm "in the dark" about the future growth of our family.

The Gospel propels me to recognize that we were changed by our loss.

The Gospel reminds me that we would have likely continued to reject God's calling on our lives to adopt if our son would have lived.

The Gospel gives me eyes to see we are just where God wants us even when I don't understand.

The Gospel grants me the undeserved joy in meeting my son(s) some day!

YAY! Bubbling with Praise!

2011-08-03T15:00:00.002-05:00

No word from embassy yet with Spencer however, police letter came in today for Violet and it supposedly is what the embassy wants {we'll see}! Her paperwork is being resubmitted to the embassy tomorrow {earlier than we expected}! Now we need to pray the embassy will accept both of their cases, specifically the new police letter! As of now it seems very possible to bring them both home together! Praying we get an embassy date set for the week of the 15th! Thanks for listening, joining in our praise and continuing to lift us up in prayer!

one thousand gifts

2011-08-02T21:30:00.003-05:00

Thanks to Andie & Brianne this lovely book arrived at my door step just over a week ago. I am in the middle of Chapter 6 currently and soaking in every word I read! I would highly recommend it! It's a bit poetic for my liking albeit good for me in many ways. It's been music to my soul this past week! It's encouraging me to view life with more thanksgiving even in the midst of depressing times! I might just have to start a journal of my own soon! Addie sings a song from church that says "a grateful heart is good medicine!" Indeed it is. Check out the book here and here.

road trip part 3: Galena, IL

2011-08-02T21:06:00.009-05:00

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

After realizing we didn't want to spend any more time in Branson, we decided to hit up one of our favorite spots in the mid-west on our way home: Galena, Illinois! Clint and I first fell in-love with Galena on our honeymoon. It's a quaint, historical town with many adorable homes! It's about 5 hours from Minneapolis, on the border of Iowa. The down-town is thriving and has many antique and specialty shops. There are several large bed & breakfasts. We came into town just in time to participate in their 4th of July celebration!

We even found a cheap outdoor water park that was family friendly to cool of in mid-day.

Exhibit A: just a cute house we drove by, within the city limits but very much felt in a secluded area

Exhibit B: I fell in love with this house! Clearly it was redone- so cute- LOVE barn roofs, cedar shakes, white siding & porches....and check out the windows- so cool!

Exhibit C: This was an adorable, tiny house on an acre of land just outside of town. It even has a cute red barn and the driveway has a bridge over a fairly dried up stream. Part of the reason we LOVE Galena is because we LOVE this house! We dreamed about it the first time we saw it and have joked about buying from time to time. It was actually a cute boutique when we first visited it. The boutique has since went out of business and the home was for sale but after over a year on the market the owners took it off and it now sits vacant. We'd move there in a heart-beat if Clint had a job down there. It's fun to dream together!

P.S.- Exhibit A-C are just a very small sampling of the many, many houses in Galena that have just as much character!

adoption article

2011-08-01T15:53:00.002-05:00

check out this very informative Ethiopian adoption article from a recent World Magazine:

http://www.worldmag.com/articles/18357

update: moving forward

2011-08-01T15:01:00.004-05:00

Last week Clint and I decided to move forward with bringing Spencer home {alone}. Technically we are only having issues with Violet's paperwork. So he was already been cleared by the embassy when both of their paperwork was turned in the first time.

We could have perused getting him home over a month ago but we delayed pulling the trigger because we were optimistic that her paperwork issues would be resolved soon. But obviously, this is stretching out longer and longer with little sign of "the end".

So, we got word today that Spencer's paperwork was submitted to the embassy again Monday {yesterday-Ethiopia time}! PRAISE the LORD! We are moving forward! As far as we know, we can expect the embassy to contact us some time this week {usually via email} to schedule an embassy appointment in 1-3 weeks from now!!! Crazy exciting!

Our biggest prayer request is that in the mean time {between now and Spencer's embassy appointment} Violet's police letter squabble will get figured out and she too could join us for Spencer's embassy appointment.

So, as of now, I {Amanda} would travel alone to Ethiopia to bring Spencer home. And Clint or I would return later to get Violet once her paperwork issues have settled. However, we did receive positive word this morning {we are cautiously optimistic} that it seems like the police are finally willing to re-due the letter {hopefully to the embassy's ever-changing standards} and they expect to get it early this week! IF this actually happens, her paperwork would be ready to be submitted by early next week. If Violet does clear embassy in the next 2 weeks then Clint would travel with me and we would bring them both home together!

Thanks for all your prayers! And when you think of us also pray for the Kopp Family from CA and the Roberts in Kenya who are also waiting on their police letters! Brianne and Candace - I'm thankful to have you two in midst of all this! Hoping to meet you in Addis!

marriage: thoughts 7 years in

2011-08-01T14:22:00.003-05:00

It's hard to see so many marriages falling apart all around us. Even many Christian's are falling prey to thinking divorce is an option. It's such a lie. The grass is not greener. It's our desire that our marriage will be a testimony of Christ and his love for His people. We don't want to settle for mediocre. Christ didn't live and die for us to live halfway about anything!

Many people know the saying "the seven year itch". It's a term used to describe the hardships and supposed increased temptation to stray from your marriage commitment some where between 6-8 years of marriage.

Our marriage has weathered many a storm: job losses, surprise pregnancies, late term baby losses, house sale hardships, moving 3 times in 6 months, lack of consistent income, chronic pain, adoption, to name a few! We certainly got more than we bargained for! Sometimes I honestly think it's a miracle we're still married!

Recently, while still in the midst of these trials we can honestly access our marriage and say "we're at the height of our marriage"! Crazy, huh?! We probably wouldn't have said this a year ago or even 6 months ago but we've seen the Lord's grace in our lives over the past 5 months and it's incredible to enjoy the difference it makes!

As I evaluate what happened to us these past 5 months, that we went from so-so to lovey-dovey, I've been able to pin-point 5 key factors:

1) Good Communication

2) Great Sex

3) Much Grace for one-another {aka patience}

4) DATES!

5) Christ {praying together, individual and family Bible reading}

So in honor of our 7th wedding anniversary on September 17th I will attempt to journal and encourage through a 5 part marriage series about the 5 key factors above. Our marriage is far from perfect and we still have much to learn but I just want to chronicle where we're at in our love & hopefully it will be encouraging for you to listen in.

all i have is CHRIST

2011-08-01T14:20:00.000-05:00

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way.
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave.
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will.
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still.
But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross.
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace.
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life
Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me.
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose.
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You.
© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI), by Jordan Kauflin

ethiopia adoption videos

2011-07-29T08:05:00.002-05:00

These two Ethiopian Adoption Videos were very meaningful to me in the Fall of 2008 when we decided to adopt. I don't think I can watch either of these without welling up. Even while hearing these two songs on the radio I have to hold back tears.

Addie is obsessed with the first one. We have video of her watching it when she was only 1 1/2.....she would point to the computer and say "doption, doption" which meant she wanted to watch it. When I see that video of her watching the you tube adoption video it reminds me exactly how LONG we've been in this process! We've been talking about adopting for as long as Addie has memory!

I can't wait to make an adoption video of our journey once Spencer & Violet are home! Randomly over the past 2 1/2 years I've been on the search for a song to use for our video....(silly but it was part of my adoption nesting-don't you know!) I finally found one recently that is absolutely perfect and as far as I know it hasn't been used on an adoption video before. But you'll have to wait and see to hear what it is! ;)

addie's latest

2011-07-28T21:05:00.003-05:00

She can write her name & draw people!

It happened out of no where- I was barely teaching her.

I love the classic arms and legs coming out of the head!

I remember so clearly when my little sisters drew pictures like this

but now it's my daughter who can draw like this!

It makes her seem so old!

She told me the green stuff is the beard.

Crazy how proud a mama can feel over such a simple drawing!

So grateful in this special moment in the midst of life's craziness!

finn anders mcalpine

2011-07-28T20:57:00.002-05:00

We have a new nephew! Born to Marty & Jessica!

Too bad they live in Arizona!

Born Monday July 18, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Weight 8 lbs 15 oz | Length 21 in

Go here for more pictures!

for the love of craigslist and quilts

2011-07-27T14:22:00.002-05:00

What a girl will go through to get her hands on a king-size quilt- a rare find indeed {see my craigslist wanted posting below}!

Dear person who has the beautiful, King quilt for sale in Burnsville-
I have been emailing you several times and so have my friends in hopes that you'll respond but you haven't. I thought maybe you sold the quilt but then you reposted it this week. I wish you would post a phone number so I could call you because maybe you don't check your email. I am utterly confused as to why you won't respond and I desperately want your quilt! It is exactly what I have been looking for and it's just the right price! I'm investing a lot of energy checking my email constantly hoping you'll reply- I will have heartache if I cannot buy your quilt! I am available to get it at any time of the day and will bring cash! Please respond to this post!
Thanks!

Amanda

And my add did prove fruitful obviously...it only took a month & a half for the seller to see my add. She told me she didn't respond to my 5 emails (over a months time frame) because I sounded like a scammer because I was too interested in the quilt?!?!?!? What does that mean? Strange!

swim lessons!

2011-07-27T14:14:00.002-05:00

Addie just completed two weeks of swim lessons! She was in the pre-school level and she passed on to level 1! YAY!

It was fun to watch her in the class.....it made me realize how old she is getting-sad! It's funny because I have fond memories of swim lessons while growing up and Clint has very terrifying memories of his swim lesson experience! Addie was a mix of emotions for the first few classes but eventually she started enjoying it.

I would recommend it....she made HUGE improvements with putting her head in the water, being more comfortable in the pool and learning the basics of floating, the front crawl and the elementary back stroke.

The past few weeks she's been swimming outside of swim lessons several times a week. Thankfully there are many free kiddie pools in our area and we are also thankful for Elm Creek Park Reserve!

the good, the bad & the ugly

2011-07-20T22:23:00.004-05:00

{these were sent to us yesterday from the orphanage- they're getting so old}

THE GOOD:

As of last night I got through to a National Visa Center man named Axel who was awesome! I seriously thought I might kiss him through the phone! He was SUPER helpful and helped us so much (he was the third person I had talked to yesterday from NVC). So he sent our updated paperwork to the embassy electronically. I got an email this morning from our senator's office that confirmed that indeed Axel had sent our stuff to the embassy! So we thought we should be in good standing....assuming our police letter should be done by now (we were told it would be done almost two weeks ago).

THE BAD:

So, we got an update from our agency that the police letter is not done because the local police department is refusing to re-due the document because they already did it once (totally understandable).

THE UGLY:

Now what???? Um..we're helplessly caught in the middle of two stubborn parties. The US Embassy wants the police letter in a new format and the police say, no way, we're not re-doing it! So who's going to give and when? Such a bummer that they're wasting our time this way!

So today, I emailed the embassy directly and asked them to accept our file with the current letter since the police are refusing to do it over. I also emailed our senator's office again to see if they can get involved and advocate on our behalf with the Embassy.

This is just SO UGLY, because you see our kids are legally ours. We just need their visas to get them home and we're hung up over the FORMATTING of a seemingly-non-essential document!

So, now we wait to hear back from our agency, the embassy or our senator's office. We are also considering sending me over there sooner than later to take custody of our children and hopefully get the embassy to move forward with our case but we are undecided on how beneficial that would or wouldn't be-all things considered.

Please, please pray for the embassy to have sympathy for us and approve us. The Kopp's are also in the same predicament....she has a great blog post that also explains it all here.

Also pray for my UGLY heart...this is the biggest fight for faith for both of us! We feel so helpless and it's so hard to know if there is something more we can do. It's hard deciphering the line between waiting patiently (doing nothing) for God to work things together according to HIS will and actually being hands and feet and physically advocating for the orphan by doing something.

It's almost hard to even ask for prayer anymore because it seems to not be helping. However, I guess if we haven't walked away from our faith now, then we never will because it's been so, so hard and we're still standing. Praise the Lord for that! I shed many of tears today.

Clint told me to be positive in my blog post. I said "positive about what?"and he said "well.....you're alive aren't you?" I am alive.

house or home?

2011-07-19T20:47:00.003-05:00

{above is a picture of Clint's night stand, he made us a pair a few months ago}

Selling our first house, that we had built and lived in for 5 years, was tough. We had no intentions of staying there the rest of our lives but it was still hard to leave our nice yard, our hard work, the memories, comforts of a new home, and the familiarity of the community Clint & I grew up in.

Both Clint and I lived in one house most of our growing up years. And our parents still live in those houses today. I had fear about where we would move to. I had excitement and anxiety in moving to the city...I knew it would be different. The home is a women's stomping grounds all day, every day....so it mattered to me. And I knew most rentals would not be as nice as our old home.

Clint and I are currently renting {we're in the best rental situation EVER, I might ad} so we won't necessarily be here for more than a few years, I'm guessing. And because we don't own this home, we are not about to invest much of our money & time into making it "our own" because it isn't.

However, Clint and I both appreciate the design of our domain. We care about color schemes & decor themes. So we've done what we can to make it comfortable, lovable and our style.

Moving to this city-dwelling has proved that home is anywhere your family lives, not the structural building. And you can make any place be appealing to you. A little bit of paint and elbow grease will get you far! We have true pride-of-rentership! We treat this house like it's ours and it shows. We don't live in a typical rental home.

We keep good care of this house. And it feels like home to us! We love it here, in this home, on this street, in the big city! {I guess I'm speaking for Clint and I because if you ask Addie she might say differently} This is all because it's WE who live here.

We actually drove by our old house a week ago and had no feelings for it what-so-ever. It's like a good faded memory. It was encouraging to me that I didn't feel sad about it.

I am thoroughly convinced I can make any house feel like home, so we don't have to worry where the Lord will take us in the years ahead. As a renter or buyer, I know we can make due wherever we land, big or small, city or country.

Because any house can feel like a home when it is filled with love!

road trip part 2: on the road

2011-07-18T21:08:00.007-05:00

We passed through two different towns called Clinton, one in Iowa and one in Missouri.

Well, we can now say we've seen the big arch in St. Louis.

I packed the cooler full of meat, veggies and fruit so we could save money. As we drove we found random places to stop and eat, like this picnic shelter behind a church in the middle of no-where.

no news

2011-07-18T14:32:00.003-05:00

Well, the paperwork did not reach the National Visa Center today as we had hoped. It appears to be scheduled for delivery tomorrow by the end of the day. Please pray that they get it in the morning and can electronically send it out tomorrow. Not the news we were hoping for but we're still moving forward it seems.

not really news but sort of

2011-07-15T15:15:00.002-05:00

So....this is where we're at: the USCIS has resent the extension approval to the National Visa Center (already)! It should be there by Monday via air mail. Then they usually send it the same day as they receive it to the US Embassy in Ethiopia {electronically}. So this is good news, considering.

I've been on the phone all week with so many people. I felt blessed today because I actually talked to two very helpful people [at USCIS & National Visa Center] in regards to all this adoption drama! Praise the Lord for that!

One good thing/bad thing is that we haven't gotten confirmation that we have the new police letter (remember this is the 3rd attempt at the same letter). This is bad because we really want it done, but good because since we haven't gotten it then.....we really haven't been holding ourselves up with the new USCIS issue....because we're actually still waiting for the police letter too. It buys us a little time.

Just so you know- once this is taken care of we can be submitted to embassy immediately....we don't have to wait for a Tuesday. We also don't have to wait till a Wednesday to get updated info.

So...please pray that the Visa Center gets the update by Monday....in which I can call on Monday to confirm and I DID get a tracking # which is GOLD in this scenario! YAY for that! We also need prayer that the police letter has come or will come by Monday or Tuesday. Ultimately we're hoping these two things will come together so we can get approval from Embassy next week in order to travel the first or second week of August.

I'll be honest......it's been a rough roller-coaster......my emotions are wearing thin. I've gone from excited to frustrated, to sad, to mad to being "done" and then happy again, a little.....this is by far the hardest thing we've even done! We felt so blind-sided by this last hiccup in the process....when will this nightmare be over?

I keep trying to remind myself not to be so anxious because I'll probably be just as miserable after they come home because I know my life will be more difficult and challenging once they are here.....but I'm hopeful that it will be a joyful type of hard..... ; )

It's just SO hard to be constantly in the dark, no knowing what is next or when we'll travel. I'd rather just know it will be October, so I can plan.....rather than have another 10 random set-backs......

Oh, Lord....bring my babies home......I'm desperate for your grace and help here.......please make something out of this mess....use us for your glory, though I'm dumbfounded how that is possible right now......hopelessness is settling in some days.......I don't feel you at all these days..........but I need you....and I am still confident this is all in your hands even if I don't get it.

eaten alive

2011-07-15T15:05:00.002-05:00

Oops! Some how 2 mosquitoes slept with Addie the whole night!

She woke up screaming that her back itched and I went into her bedroom (dark) and told her she was fine and she should just go back to bed....I was practically sleep walking.

About 20 minutes later she woke again, this time I sent Clint in to figure her out....well he did...he turned on the light and saw the bites all over her face and back and then killed the mosquitoes and applied the anti-itch cream. Bad mom I am. YAY for Dad!

addie's creative play

2011-07-15T14:07:00.006-05:00

Addie playing ice cream shop with play-doh: cold stone style!

Addie's garage sale. She used excess kiosk tags from church, which she had been collecting, as price tags. She used her pencil box for a cash box and calculator at the check-out area.

Here is her basket filled with gummy packs (also known as bean bags) and gospel tracks for homeless people! She asked Clint to pretend to be a homeless man so she could drive by and give him a snack and gospel track!

urgent prayer update

2011-07-12T10:15:00.002-05:00

We just got a mail notice from the US Embassy in Ethiopia that they haven't received our updated USCIS (US Immigration office) approval that was done this spring! (Why they didn't just email us immediately when they first viewed our file weeks ago, I don't know- ugh!)

I knew in February that they didn't have it yet, so I called the USCIS office and asked them to send it and they told they would take care of it that day...well apparently they didn't! So now I'm trying to get US MN Senator Amy Klobuchar's office to help expedite this process of getting this approval letter to the Embassy. So I called Mrs. Klobuchar's office but the gal I got directed to was not at her desk, so I left a voice mail just now.

Unfortunately I can't send our copy to them myself....it has to officially be sent by the USCIS.

Please pray that she will return my call asap. That she will care about our situation and help us out. Pray that this approval letter get's the embassy asap so it doesn't hold up our process (not sure if it has or hasn't already been holding us up....I don't think so). I've got butterflies in my tummy. Please pray for me to have peace and no fear or anxiousness.

green goodness

2011-07-11T21:43:00.004-05:00

{kale, spinach, cucumber, apple, celery, carrot}

Clint and I are on a 7 day juice fast this week. It's all about SELF-CONTROL! Which is so tough...it's hard to say "no" to yourself! It's such a mind game! Hopefully it will clean out our systems and give us another jump start to even more healthier eating {more on that to come}.

It felt good to dust off the juicer....hoping after this week it will make a more consistent appearance on our counter. We either need to get a new blade or get a new juicer....it bogs down easily....thankfully replacement blades are cheap.

riverfest parade

2011-07-11T21:30:00.005-05:00

Sam, William, Auntie Mariah, Addie, Auntie Logan

YAY- BAGPIPES!

Sorting her loot!

We always go to the Riverfest parade in our home town. We enjoy it! This was Addie's 3rd parade this year....an unplanned bonus since her siblings are not home yet. This year we sat with my family and the Anderson family. We were in the sun from 12-6pm yesterday....it's was hot but we're not quick to complain since we don't appreciate winter much. We are actually staying plenty busy despite having a completely empty summer calendar just a month ago.

birthday parties

2011-07-11T21:16:00.003-05:00

Addie went to her first (x2) friend birthday parties this weekend!

Bryon turned 4 and his family hosted a little cook-out with a few families Friday night.

Addie's friend Addy turned 4 too and had a girly princess party on Saturday. Too cute!

random happening

2011-07-10T22:11:00.004-05:00

We just had the unexpected pleasure of watching fireworks from our front yard with lightening flickering behind it! Super cool....though the fireworks were short.

Our neighbors also just informed us that they were watching a bald eagle that had landed in a tree of our back yard just moments ago but the first boom of the fireworks sent him away! Bummer....wish we could have seen!

road trip part 1:the branson bust

2011-07-10T21:17:00.010-05:00

After spending days in the car with Addie driving to Branson, Missouri and back we were so thankful she is not accompanying us on either Ethiopia trip!

We traveled to Missouri on a last minute trip to see a Doctor for Clint's chronic butt pain. We decided Wednesday night that we'd leave Friday morning, July 1st. Yeah, I'm a bit behind in updating the blog....but I have much to share.

Clint's right butt cheek post treatment. {Yes, he gave me permission to post this.} Only time will tell if the treatment was successful. He was also referred to a custom orthotic maker in Colorado....another trip in the making??? It's possible that Clint's extremely high arches are the culprit for Clint's hip and piriformis butt pain.

Side note: the Doctor Clint saw...whom he found via his website was a Christian and also adopting from Ethiopia- crazy! He even invited us to stay at his home overnight and treated Clint for free! Such a praise...we know it wasn't an accident we crossed paths with Dr. Russ and his family! They're actually in Ethiopia now for their court trip!

After you've seen this....you've seen the whole Branson "strip". Yeah, not much to look at. We were planning on staying the weekend but changed our plans after Branson was horribly different than what we had hoped (didn't do a ton of research since it was such a last minute trip). We drove in Saturday afternoon and left Sunday morning at 6am. We don't intend to go back. I would best describe it as a mini- Las Vegas [albeit I've never been] meet Wisconsin Dells...but worse. However, depending on the age of your children, size of your pocket book and your sight-seeing/vacation preferences you might find it fun and worth while....just not our cup of tea.

However, we did get to see the Ozark Mountains [foothills] and a pretty sunrise.

darkness

2011-06-30T00:25:00.002-05:00

Yes, we heard bad news today.

Why are we surprised?

We are "the worst case scenario" after all.

They got the police report back (actually was impressed it "only" took a week) and then realized they got it from the wrong police "station". cool. so now they have to go even further into the boondocks to a different police station to have it written; they said to expect this to take 2 weeks minimum. nice. That will put us at a total of 7 weeks of waiting for the same darn document to be completed accurately. unbelievable. literally...unbelievable.

I cried and prayed and laughed a bit today. I went for a run tonight and was able to gather semi-rational thoughts and prayers actually-more on that later. We will be lucky if we travel by the end of July, so it seems. I can't quite understand what God is up to in all these delays and why our kids are stranded in Ethiopia without a family for so long. It's been 4 months since we've seen them.......... 4 months.

We wanted a baby and toddler but now we're getting a toddler and preschooler. Honestly, my anger and frustration are stemmed from fear that I don't trust God's plan because ultimately I fear the older my children get without me the more likely we are to have attachment and bonding problems. That's what I really think. But that's not totally true. I am scared if we don't have good attachment that my life will be hard because I have seen what that is like with my brother.

It's like I'm idolizing attachment.

And allowing fear to drive me into numbness.

I'm definitely getting to the point where I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I'm ready to crawl in a hole for a month and hibernate.

How about THAT for some raw, honest thoughts?

fresh 2 frozen in hours

2011-06-30T00:18:00.005-05:00

girl getaway

2011-06-29T23:58:00.004-05:00

Annie & I had an awesome 3 day road trip to Holland, Michigan last weekend and it was super fun! This was my first girls weekend ever (in 7 years of marriage)! We went to a wedding of a friend of Annie's (in which I danced my heart out) and we were able to stay at a home of some adoption friends of ours whom we met in Ethiopia! It worked out so slick (Thanks Duncans)! Holland is a quaint town on Lake Michigan. The downtown is thriving and has many adorable boutiques, occasional-type shops, antique stores, coffee shops and cafes. Many shops were comparable to one-of-a-kind Pottery Barns or Anthropologies! I am ready to pack up and move there! Housing is pretty reasonable too- you can get an old Victorian 6-bedroom home in need of cosmetic work for under $160,000! I admired all the pristine Reformed churches in town as well. Thanks honey for allowing me the weekend off and thank you Annie for some memorable conversations during the 20+ hours of windshield time!

submitted yet defeated

2011-06-21T15:38:00.002-05:00

We were submitted to the US Embassy today (yesterday Ethiopia time) but they immediately requested the police letter for Violet Tizeta (the one we waited over a month to get in order to pass court) to be written in a different format. Which we were told was being written in the proper Embassy format (3 months ago) but it wasn't apparently. Such drama. Seriously.

We are at the end of our rope emotionally. Seriously, crying all afternoon and feeling so confused on God's purpose in all this. Feeling upset and hopeless. We have no idea how long this will take. We also found out today that at best (if all went well with Embassy, which it didn't) we could travel the week of July 11th because the Embassy dates are filled till then. We were originally still hoping there would be openings the week before that. So now with this delay, who knows. We are so close yet SO far away. It's been a rough week and it's only Tuesday.

Why have we hit every possible obstacle the past 2 1/2 years? I don't get it. Of all the crap we've been drug through with baby losses and job losses, etc...this takes the cake! It's so hard to know our kids are "rotting" in an orphanage...growing up without us!

Please pray for us. Pray the police letter comes quickly. Pray we can get an embassy appointment still for the second week of July. Pray for our emotions. Pray for our children. Pray "this soon shall pass". Pray we don't compare ourselves to so many others in our lives who are joyous with quick and "easy" adoptions and baby making.

Thanks for listening.